Sluts & Suicide

a b d i t o r y

abditory: (n.) a place in which you can disappear; a hiding place

     Emme ran her eyes over the dresses. There were so many to choose from. She felt like none of them would look good on her, and she had to find a pastel dress the would cover all her cuts. Not one that would blatantly let them be visible.

     She internally groaned. She basically had to find a brightly colored nun dress. How bleh. Then her eyes landed on something. It was beautiful. All of it went together and it would cover all her cuts and scars completely, but would still show off enough skin. It was perfect. 

     Maybe even Emme's dream dress. It was pastel pink, off the shoulder but covered most of the arm area, sweet heart neck-line, chiffon style, and it flowed graiciously. This was the dress. It would definitely make Emme look somewhat pretty. But she would feel honored if the dress was on display at the ball. On her.

     Sandra walked over and marvelled in the dress's beauty along with Emme.

     "That is beautiful. Try it on," Sandra said, giving Emme a gentle oush twards the dress. The older brunette called over an employee to help with the dress. 

     Mindy and Emme stepped into a dressing room clad with fanciness. Emme stripped and peeled the slut defining clothes off of her body and stepped into the alluring dress. It fitted her in all the right places, she observed after Mindy zipped up the dress. 

     Emme looked in the mirror and saw how the dress accentuated all her curves and evenly flowed outwards. One word to describe it, perfect. 

     For once you actually look decent, the voice in her head spoke. The words hung heavy in the air and bounced around in Emme's head. She couldn't believe that her worst enemy would end up being her own self. The only word that could describe how Emme currently felt was heartbroken.

     Heartbroken over so much. Emme now regretted how she pushed Cameron and Vickie out. Maybe she could talk to one of them on Monday.

     And so Monday came. The first thing Emme did when she reached school was race for the office and beg for Cameron's homeroom.

     Inside the office, the receptionist, Mrs. Caliveir, sat at a computer typing away. You could hear her nails poking at the keys as she typed inside the silent office. Emme was suddenly startled by a lighthearted but sweet voice.

     "What can I do for ya dear," Mrs. Caliveir asked patiently calm. Emme handed her an urgent look.

     "I'm looking for a Cameron.. I'm not to sure of a last name though," Emme said. Mrs. Caliveir nodded. She went away typing keys on her computer, the tap of her nails on keys echoing in the empty office.

     "Cameron Lical, Cameron Kenders, and Kameron Bestial," Mrs. Caliveir hesitated. "Come around dear and look at the pictures and tell me which one."

     Emme walked around the bulky thing and went to look at the desktop screen. She viewed each picture and name carefully then confirmed which one she was looking for.

     Mrs. Caliveir wrote down the room number on a post-it and handed it to Emme. She gentely took the post-it and headed towards room 16-B. Her sky high Badgley Mischka wedges clicked alond the tiled floor as she headed towards the room.

     Emme was happy to be wearing her favorite brands, even if the clothes were slutty.

     But a damper was put on Emme's mood. Everyone down the hallway was whispering little thing about her. Probably about how much of a attention seeking whore she was.

     "She's such a goddamn attention seeker."

     "Ugh, look what the devil- Oh Wait! She is the devil."

     "The bitch is back. Disgusting little hoe."

     Emme pretended she didn't hear the comments and continued her walk towards room 16-B. She put on her best mask and put up the stupid facade she's been putting up for too long. Maybe she was an attention seeker.

     She wanted someone to see that she was in a war that she isn't winning. That she's in pain and is slitting her wrists, butchering her arms and thighs, cutting up her hips and hiding it all. Emme wanted someone to pay attention and let her break down and see how broken she actually is.

     Emerson Paige was an attention seeker, she wanted someone to notice.

     And she knew it in that moment, and all she wanted to do was break down, because the weight of everything was crushing her in that moment.

     Emme came face to face with the door to the room she had been searching for. She looked into the classroom and no Cameron. He was absent today. All hope in talking to him and apologising was washed down the drain.

     Then again, they didn't live in a huge city and he probably wasn't that far away, so she would go searching for him. No matter how long it took.

     After school was over though. She would yelled at by her mom if she skipped even a minute of class. Hell, her mom might disown her.

      The classes seemed to move by within hours. It was killing Emme. She needed to find Cameron and talk to him, get some things off her chest. But she wasn't stupid enough to tell him anything to dark, like her cutting or Noah and shit like that. 

     Eventually, school ended and Emme rushed out to avoid hearing the comments that destroyed and ate at her, nibbling at her already shattered soul. And so she could find the boy sooner.

     But before she could get to her car, her court ran up to her. They started saying things here and there, all in different directions. Then Jess broke through and grabbed Emme's forearm and dragged her away and the rest of her court.

     "We're all going to the mall. It's been a while and we need to do some shopping. Especially you, Emme," Jess huffed out.

     Emme internally groaned and struggled her way free from Jess's grasp, but failed when sje tightened her grip. It hurt even more, and soon Emme saw a small dot of blood on her sleeve. No! One of her cuts re-opened. This was bad, anyone could see on the white dress.

     Guess she had to go shopping for another dress or shirt now. She looked up at the blue sky and alomost groaned, but something caught her eye.

     There, on the school roof, sat Cameron Kenders, the someone she had been lokking for the entire day, hiding from the crowd of people flowing out of the school like an ocean.

*

Hey! I hope you enjoyed chapter six of Sluts and Suicide. I hope it didn't trigger anyone. And instead of putting a image at the top, I put a song! And a reminder, talk to me if you want or need to. I understand how bad it can get. Anyways, if you didn't see this is book one of a series and I have the cover for book two done. So yeah!

Bye!