Gone by Dawn | Harry Styles

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Thursday, 20th February 2014

"Baby, why does it have to be like this?"

"We talked about this months ago, Cal," Salty tears cascade down our faces as my long-term boyfriend of four years tries to persuade me from following through with my dream career.

"Baby, I can't... I can't, I don't get it. Why are you doing this? I love you," I withdraw myself from concentrating on my packing - that is way overdue - I meet his brown, mahogany, tear glazed eyes with mine and I am instantly captivated. I have known this man for 13 years of my life and not once did I ever imagine myself in this situation; I have loved him for four years and had hoped for many more but life got in the way - we were just kids. I had always imagined that Callan would come with me however, life likes to fuck your over and likes to watch you squirm as it takes its own course rather the one you mapped out when you were 10 years old - Fuck you universe.

"Have I ever told you that 'I love you'?" I quietly say as I struggle to keep my tears from spilling. My head hangs low as I pause from my packing, attempting to hide my sadness away from him.

"Of course, like, all the time," I smile at the thought. The  sound of his voice warms my heart as I stare at my ring cladded fingers; most of which he had bought me for birthday gifts or because he genuinely felt the need to spoil me. Each ring contained a different story but none compared to the one ring I had hoped for.

"Then you'll believe me when I tell you that this is for the best, the best for you and the best for me. This doesn't mean I love you any less, okay?" I look up to meet his dark brown orbs that have turned blood-shot red from the tears that he has wept. The longer I look back into his eyes, the longer I regret my decision. The longer I want to instantly withdraw my application and take it all back and be here with him for the rest of my life.

Silence was eating me alive, my anxiety levels were off balance as I don't know how he is feeling right now; Callan is not one to discuss how he's feeling and instead he'll isolate himself, run into a dark corner like a child and ignore it for as long as possible. My breathing becomes elevated as he approaches me, he takes my hands in his and gently attach them around his neck and places his hands gently around my waist. I feel his hot, minty breath faning my face, I study the features on his face as it'll be the last time I'll be this close to him. The wrinkles that are deeply imbedded into his forehead from stressing too much and smoking. I mentally scold him and slap him on the arm. His freckles that are placed almost symmetrically across his cheeks and nose have faded through the years are growing invisible, you wouldn't even know he had them.

"I love you to the moon and back."

"I love you to the stars and back," We both lean in, his soft, pink lips brush mine and before we could kiss the door to our master-bedroom flies open.

"Honey, are you packed yet?" My mother has never learned to knock a day in her life, but you would think so after walking in on Cal and I having sex multiple times, her reason is 'you should have locked the door'. I should not have to in my own house. None the less, I still love my mum and all that she has done for me.

"Oh, sorry sweetie, you really need to lock the door you know," Callan and I detangle ourselves from one another and stare at my mum in disbelief.

"Mum, we have been through this a thousand times already, you shouldn't just walk into people's houses and not knock."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" She always blows things out of proportion.

"Mum," I whine.

"Your flight leaves at 6am tomorrow, will you be ready by then?" She knowns that I am a late packer, not for any particular reason though just the fact that I am a huge procrastinator.