Gone by Dawn | Harry Styles

Gives You Hell

1152

Thursday, 4th February 2016

These past couple of weeks have been quiet to say the least, which is of course unusual. I ended things with Harry; knowing full well if we continued what we were doing it would only end up causing issues in the near future. As of now, Harry and I are keeping our relationship on a professional level – how it was supposed to be from the beginning. This doesn't mean that I regret what we have, or had I should say, I wished it could have been different but that's life for you.

What I've been told recently by Janice is that Harry did end up getting into a 'serious' relationship with that Yvie chick from back home. My heart crumbled when I found out but I was too in denial about my feelings for him. I ignored Harry's "command" to stay away from Lieutenant Slate's son, Joel, and we are really good friends now. He's a completely different man compared to his father.

Every-now-and-then, gossip would arise from base about Harry and his love life and it only ever makes me cringe with a slight stabbing pain to my chest. Every time one of the girls would bring it up at the dinner table I would mentally scoop my eyeballs out with a spoon. Most of the rumours are purely down-right nonsense and it always tempts me to correct people but then I have to remind myself that it's not my problem anymore.

"Have you guys heard?" I roll my eyes as I mentally prepare myself for what is to come out from Ilisa's mouth that spreads nothing but rumours. Don't get me wrong, she's a nice, young girl whom seems genuine but my gosh is she fucking stupid. Plus, she is too pretty to even waste her breath on a pig like Harry.

"No?" Two other girls say almost in unison as they await eagerly.

"If you girls got time to lean, you got time to clean," I throw a rag at them to indicate that I'm not messing around and that I really do want to get this tank clean before lunch time.

"Shit, Liv. What's up your arse?" Ilisa asks with her eyebrows in a frown.

"Nothing. I want to get this done sometime today, thanks."

"Maybe you would like to know what today's gossip is," She has a snarky grin spread across her lips.

"And why would I want to. After all, it is just work gossip, nothing good ever comes from it."

"Because it's about you," She says as she throws the rag back at me. Now it's my turn to furrow my brows.

"So?"

"And Harry," My stomach drops instantly. My face probably has a blank expression but I try and keep myself calm and composed so that nothing is given away. After all, it's just gossip, right?

"So, word on the street is that you and Harry had like a 'fling' in Afghanistan. Is that true?" That was at least a year ago, why is it only just resurfacing now?

"Yeah, so what? That was last year: Nothing happened," I try my best to play it off but my anxiety level only rises.

"That's not what I was told."

"And who told you all this bullshit?"

"Harry himself," My heart rate escalates as my blood begins to boil. Why the fuck would Harry throw himself under the bus like that? Especially taking me along with him, I haven't spoken to Harry for quite some time and I thought we had moved passed all the drama. Harry seems to have other ideas.

"Lieutenant Styles is full of himself. Don't get caught up in his bullshit, I should know after all," I brush off what she's trying to dig up.

"Then why are you so defensive, Olivia?" Ilisa badgers.

"I'm not? Whatever Harry told you was a long time ago, we're both different people now. Plus, he's got a girlfriend now," I was done with the topic. I was quick to finish off my duty for the tank and I was now on the hunt for Lieutenant Arsehole. I marched past multiple rooms, storage spaces and offices before I found the one I was seeking. I swung the door open without hesitation and there he was. Seated at his desk that I assume he does shit all at.

"We need to talk."

"Well, it's about time," My intense glare was enough to wipe the smirk off his face.

"Why are you telling people what went on between us?"

"And what exactly 'went on between us', Private Crosby?" He leaned back into the overpriced black leather chair. A pen in between his lips as he awaited my answer. It pained me to know that he has moved on despite the fact that I ended it.

"You're right," I nod my head slowly as I stare at the desk that was separating him and I. The same desk that we kissed on.

"Right about what?" He brows furrow as he seems genuinely confused. I met his eyes as I looked up at they were the same shade of green that I had remembered. I pivot on my heels as I walk out of his office without a word. He didn't call after me. He didn't even stand from his chair. He let me walk away like he no longer cared. I knew where we stood.

***

0009

Saturday, 13th March 2016

"I think it's my bedtime," I yawn into the phone as Joel and I have talked on hours upon hours on end. We officially became a thing however; his dad is yet to find out and I am extremely anxious for good reasons though. Joel has been deployed to Darwin for six weeks with his regiment and it has nearly been the full six weeks.

"I think so too. Goodnight, Liv. Sleep tight," I couldn't resist a smile as I look up at the ceiling in the pitch black of the night.

"Goodnight Joel," I say into the phone before the line goes dead. The weekend has just began and I unfortunately have to go to work this weekend whilst the other girls have requested to get the weekend off to go partying but I am no longer about that life anymore. I double check that I have set my alarm for the right time and day before I flip over onto the other side of the bed and go to sleep feeling like my life is actually together.

***

0829

Saturday, 13th March 2016

Going to the gym was the least favourite part about my job. The only good thing about this session is that I have the whole gym to myself since it's quite early in the morning. I plug my earphones into my phone as I decide to do cardio today since I was tired from last nights late night call. The television was on for background noise since it only ever played the news. Sweat began to pile along my hairline as I reached the 1.9km milestone. Every-now-and-then I would go at an incline to really get an effective workout since I felt like I haven't been in weeks and I most likely haven't just because I haven't been feeling it. Just as I reached the 30-minute mark I decided that that was enough cardio for me today. I use my towel to wipe away the evidence of my brief but extensive workout. As if on cue, as I was about to leave the gym Harry enters but in his Officials uniform.

"Good morning, Private Crosby," He acknowledges my presences by a simple nod.

"Lieutenant Styles."

"Just a quick question while I have you," I was taken aback by this as he gently grabs my forearm to stop me from walking away just a moment ago. I shrug my shoulders in response to his question as I know whether I like it or not he will fire it my way.

"Do you love him?" My eyes drift from the floor to his eyes as I wasn't expecting that of all questions. How does he know? It had only been a couple of weeks and we didn't even tell anyone other than Janice.

"Excuse me?"

"You know what I said, please don't make me repeat myself, Liv," That was the first time in a long time that he has called me by my nickname. It felt good; it reminded me of the good days, the days where things weren't complicated. But now that I think of it, Harry was just lonely and so was I. We were both far from home and had no one else whom we could connect nor turn to when we needed that emotional connection within the sense of what we wanted. I guess I was just convenient for him? As for Harry's question. I don't love Joel however, I do really like him, enough to call him my boyfriend, but I wanted to show Harry that I too have moved on from him.

"Yes," And I just pray and I just hope that it gives him hell.