A Heart Divided

Chapter 7

It's been over a month that I last talked to Onew.

           I tried many times to talk to him, but he always ignored me or just walked away when he saw me walking over to him. None of my calls were returned or messages answered. I was heartbroken with the fact that he actually left me cold and alone in this empty world. There was nothing for me with out him. But I have been selfish over the years I have been with him.

As the days pass by I become more depressed as I realized how much I hurt Onew over the years, not even once realizing how he truly felt for me.

But I truly am the worst person ever.

         I don't like to be alone; it's scary, especially since I can’t exactly make friends that easily. More like I don’t want to. Jonghyun noticed right away from the beginning that something happened between me and Onew, and he could tell I was depressed about it. So every day he eats lunch with only me and he insists on taking me home, although I don't let him take me home since Onew lives right next door.

‘No one else matters as long as I’m with you. I’ll bring your smile back, so don’t worry and just look at me,’  that’s what Jonghyun told me in the begging of those very sad and depressing days. He hasn't left my side ever since.

I know I’m the biggest jerk for letting Jonghyun be so nice to me, it's like a slap in the face to Onew, but like I said, I don't like to be alone.

          Plus it doesn’t seem like Onew cares all that much. He’s made new friends and he looks happy. Like nothing ever happened. Like we were never friends to begin with. Never once has he looked my way since that day.

           My feelings are all mixed up, as if a tornado was going crazy inside me, hitting the walls of my heart, begging to escape my body. The more time I spend with Jonghyun, the more I like him. He really is a sweet guy and he always knows what to say to make me feel better. Onew is wrong about him. Right? Ugh, I’m selfish.

           Even though Onew doesn’t seem to care about me anymore, I feel guilty towards him, and it makes me not want to like Jonghyun anymore. But how can I not like Jonghyun. He’s the only one I have right now. The only one who seems to genuinely care for me. The more Onew stays out of my life, the more Jonghyun takes over. Onew comeback please.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

“Sara! Sara!”

I turn to look for the voice that's calling me, and find that it's Jonghyun. Who else was I expecting it to be?

“Hey Sara, I brought you some cookies from home,” He says smiling brightly as he hands me a medium sized baggie tied with a pink ribbon, with four sugar cookies inside.

“Aw thank you~ they look really tasty,” I say with an eye smile as I untie the ribbon.

           I place the ribbon on the lunch table we are sitting in and take one cookie out; it’s about the size of my palm. As I take a bite of the cookie I hear a loud laughter coming from a female student. I look up and see it's one of the girls from the year above us. She's trying to take away a piece of paper that a boy is holding up in the air. The boy is giving his back towards my direction, but I've seen that back many times before to know whose it is. The boy twists his body, letting me take a good look at his face.

I can see that beautiful bright smile that has comforted me countless of times, the smile of Onew that I miss so much.

-*-

His smile isn’t for me this time. It’s for the girl that he’s playing with right now.

          He's holding a paper high out of the girls reach, making her jump up and down while grabbing on to his arms in an "attempt" to reach. Onew is tall but he’s not a giant, plus that girl is taller than me. She could have gotten the paper easily if she really wanted to. She’s just looking for an excuse to rub her ‘D cups’ on him. That slut. And Onew is easily letting her. That bastard. I get a sensation of rage and jealousy as I remember the times he would do that to me.

          Honestly, Onew has always been popular among both female and male students.  He has an easy going and clumsy personality that makes people feel comfortable around him. A lot of the female students have confessed to him, and I mean a lot. But he was never actually surrounded by girls since they always avoided him when I was next to him, which was majority of the time. But now I see him every day talking to different girls as if I have never existed. And this particular unnie* that he's playing with right now, they have been talking constantly….everyday....they even look good together.

          It wouldn't surprise me if they ended up dating. Onew always had a thing for noona*'s. She's a girl,  with a very womanly figure and a pretty face.  She also has a very cute eye smile every time she's happy. Plus I’ve seen her around many times before to see that she’s also a sweet girl, I feel bad for calling her a slut in my mind because she's not. She’s perfect. Why wouldn't he like her?

          A pain shoots into my heart the more I look at them.  I stare at them in a daze, wishing Onew would look at me like that again, but it’s hopeless, Onew never wants to be with me ever again. He hates me.

I can feel someone shaking my shoulder and calling my name, but I'm so much in a daze that I can't tell who it is.

"Sara, Sara"

Who's calling me?

"Sara!?"

Oh it's Jonghyun...

-

(*unnie: a korean expression girls say to females older then them.

*noona: a korean expression boys say to females older then them.)

-

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sooooo can anyone take a guess at who this pretty unnie might be?

idk about you but konglish really makes me cringe, but I wrote this when I was a noob so there's only so much konglish I can filter out /:

so any feed back?

-nm