A Heart Divided

Chspter 17

-Jonghyun's POV-

What am I even doing right now?

I ask myself as I walk into the living room with the tray holding the pop corn and two cups of apple juice. Sara is sitting delicately on the edge of the sofa, oblivious to the things that's going through my head.

How could she agree so easily to come to my house? Doesn't she know what coming to her boyfriends home while his parents are away mean?

Of course she doesn't. She's so innocent.

"Seriously" she says as she stares at the popcorn.

So innocent.

Her innocence is what  attracted me to her, and it's what made me fall for her. And here I am thinking of taking her innocence from her.

"Where are your parents?" her question startled me, she asked that with such naivety.

"Uhm....there not here"

"When will they be home?"

"Maybe not for another two days probably"

"Oh," she says lastly.

Please Sara. Just leave. I don't want to hurt you, I know I won't be able to stop, those are the words that are running through my mind.

But she doesn't leave, and I can't help myself.

I'm a teenage boy who's hungry for her and I want to make her mine.

I'm embarrassed of myself for not being able to control my thoughts. It's unlike myself, but Sara is different.

The more I look  at her the more my hunger grows.

My eyes are filled with lust for her and I can't control myself anymore.

"Sara" I say, hoping she doesn't answer.

"W-what?"

Damn it. Her face turned to me startled.

I'm a bad person.

"I'm going to kiss you" I say leaning in closer as she backs hear head away.

Get up just leave.

"Well it's not like you haven't done it before, why are you warning me this time," she says as I lean in closer.

Damn it Sara.

"Because," I say, "I don't know if I'm going to stop."

And I don't.

Before she could say anything I crash my lips to hers. It's to late for her to leave now. I get up from where I'm sitting and get on top of her so she doesn't leave, leaning my right knee on the couch blocking the only way she could get out from.

Thank you Sara for sitting on the edge.

She tries hard to part our lips but I don't let her. I grab her head and try to force her to stay still.

"Jonghyun sto-"

I force my lips on to hers not letting her speak.

Why can't I stop? I'm hurting her. I don't want her to cry. So why can't I stop?

She tries pushing me away and off of her, clawing her nails in my face trying to get my lips away from hers. I grab her left arm that's clawing at my face and pin it under my right leg.

As I shove her other arm away I try to quickly undo her shirt.

Her free hand tries to push me away so I get inpatient and just Yank her shirt open

I can feel her tears running down.

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

Why can't I stop?

I can't stop.

Its like the lust has taken control of me and I just want to make her mine.

But Sara stops me. She stops me with a blow to the back of my head. Glass shatters between my head and her hand. While the only damage I get are some cuts by the glass, Sara's hand spills with red liquid that mixes with the red falling carnations that were once held in the vase.

"I'm so sorry Sa-" she cuts off my words as she pushes me off of her leaving a red stain of blood on my shirt and quickly running for the door before I could say another word.

She's gone.

Gone. And it's all my fault.

How could I do this to her?

How?

She will never forgive me. The only girl who I actually cared for, and I did something like this to her.

I'm sorry Sara.

I really am a bad person.

----------------

again sorry for any grammar mistakes, I just don't have time to proof read it ok.

The end is near guys~

-nm