A Heart Divided

Chapter 19

-Sara's POV-

I look at my phone and see hundreds of missed calls and messages from Jonghyun.

Each message telling me how sorry he is. How he's a bad person. And even more sorry's.

Hyosung let me borrow one of her school uniforms since last nights sleep over wasn't something that was planed ahead.

I feel thankful to her and let her know so many times. But she just smiles and says that everything is "ok".

But it's not ok.

Thinking about it clearly, last nights events weren't that bad. Sure I almost got rapped by my boyfriend. But I left. I left before it could happen. And that's the only thing that is "ok".

But Onew left me, and that doesn't make me feel ok.

I lost him, I'm obviously leaving Jonghyun, I'm alone again.

At least, I pray to God Hyosung doesn't leave me also. Then I will be truly alone, and that's not ok.

I try to shake off those negative thoughts as I put on the borrowed uniform. Everything fits good except for the blouse. Not everyone is as gifted as Hyosung in the top area.

Well its not like I want to be exactly seen by others right now. I tuck in the button down blouse as best as I can and then hide even more of myself with a huge oversized sweater. I felt protected by it's warmth.

I went to my classes as normal. Not talking and making the least movements possible.

I avoided any human contact possible. Everything is going fine for now.

I still see no sign of Onew anywhere. He definitely hates me.

Lunch came and I didnt know where to go to avoid people as much as possible.

So I end up alone in the library.

I get a book that I'm not going to read, and just sit down at an empty table.

I immediately zone out processing this feeling of loneliness inside me when I suddenly feel someone sitting down next to me.

I look up shocked when I see the person is Jonghyun. My chest tightens, but soon relaxes when I see his face.

He's not looking at me, he's only looking down. He has a Hood on practically covering his whole face. But I can still see his face filled with bruises, from the top of his forehead to the bottom of his jaw.

This is the first time I can say that he just looks terrible.

"Did I do that to you?" I asked worried that I actually don't know my own strength.

Jonghyun chuckles softly but still doesn't look up at me.

"No" he said vaguely, "but I'm glad somebody did. I really deserved it"

Silence passes and I begin to grow uncomfortable. I don't want to feel bad for him, he did deserve it, but who did this to him?

"Who did this to you?" I ask finally.

"He said I wasn't allowed to even look at you. And I think it's best if I don't, for your safety."

I was having a hard time understanding what he was trying to say, but he continues, "I'm so sorry, and I understand if you can't forgive me, I understand if you hate me. I understand if you can't be with me.....I never planed on going that far. I never meant to lose control and hurt you. I just-..... in all honestly, wanted to be with you because you were someone I couldn't have. And then when I had you, something inside me that I never felt before grew, and that made me want to protect you and always see you smile. I wanted to be the reason you smile.and that desire made me want to make you mines. And that selfish feeling made me lose control and go to those measures. I'm really sorry Sara. I didnt make you smile, I made you cry."