Unknown

First Attempt

"Sarah.. this is a surprise." She replied nervously.

My hand is shaking and I feel some regret about this, I don't even know what the hell to say to this woman. Should I immediately ask questions? I don't know. We sat there in silence for about a minute until she broke it.

"Sarah I hate that there's so much silence between us. It shouldn't be like this, I know it's way too late but I want to fix this gap we have." She pauses and starts to cry. "I want to get to know you, and I really truly apologize from the bottom of my heart. I'll never forgive myself for treating you like an animal. I understand if you never want to see us again. I'm so sorry Sarah." 

I sighed and looked down at the ground. Should I forgive her? Could we build a relationship? One part of me is angry and the other part wants to let go and move on.

"I honestly don't know weather to forgive you and move on or to push you out of my life. Mom, I called you because I have a lot of questions to ask you.. there's so much I need to figure out right now. I haven't completely been able to breathe as of lately. I've been trapped in this hole for 17 years now and I'm ready to find my way out of it. All my life I've always thought that there was something wrong with me. Mom, why did you and dad treat me the way I was treated? Why did you not like me? What was so wrong with me to where you had to treat me like I belong in a zoo?"

I took a breath and waited for her reply, I got impatient.

"Tell me!", I yelled.

She inhaled and finally started talking.

"There really is no good excuse for a human to be treated in such a way I know. I don't know what came over us. Baby there was nothing wrong with you ever."

"Everything that's wrong with me is YOUR fault. You would take my dinners away from me and told me I was too fat, you'd call me ugly, you'd push me down the stairs, kept me locked away in my room when there's company, and used me for every chore you needed done. You've sat and laughed with Anne as she picked on me. She's picked at me one by one into my skin so deep she's punctured holes into my fucking soul. Now I'm just a walking ghost. So you tell me, should I accept this apology from you?"

There's so many emotions going through my body as I sit here listening to her breathe and cry in self pity and sorrow.

"I'm so sorry Sarah, I really really am! You deserve to be completely furious towards me. I wish I could see you and give you a big hug and tell you how much I love you in person. No, you shouldn't accept my apology. I don't deserve it.. at all." She sniffled.

"The thing is, I want to be able to accept it. I want to know if you are genuine. I want to know if you and I could build a relationship like a real family. I don't like having this gap either, all my life all I've ever wanted was to be loved. My next question is, if you and dad were so worried about where I was when I left, why didn't you make any attempt to find me?"

"Because we knew you wouldn't want to see us at all. Yes, we were worried but we figured you'd find somewhere better. We knew you'd never come home to us if you were happy where you are. So we let you be and tried to forget about it. Our smiles were purposely put on our face to try and seem like normal people instead of dealing with being abusers. We really do regret it so much baby, we really do. All we want is for you to be happy."

"I'll let you know that I am very happy. I currently live with my girlfriend and her dads. They're amazing. They got me to eat more, and I feel like I am slowly healing mentally." I smiled.

"As long as you're happy, we are." She said brightly. I feel so much better now after having this conversation with her. It gives me hope that we can build a relationship and be a real family.

"How's Anne doing.. I know you've heard by now right?"

She sighed then replied, "She woke up last night from being unconscious. She was a little confused it's going to take a minute to regain all of her memory. I'm still not sure how this had happened completely. A worker told me she got into a fight with a girl.. how did you know about this?"

"Because it was my girlfriend. Anne had ruined our date completely.. it's a long story." I paused and thought for a second, "Where are you now? I'm going to come to you.."

I grabbed my keys and went down stairs to see Cory yawning.

"Where are you going?" She said as she stretched.

"I'm going to go clear things up and hopefully be a normal family. I'll be back baby don't worry." I kissed her and headed out.