Naging maayos ang takbo ng party. Everything was smooth sailing. Aunt Marites was introducing me to different people that I really didn't know. Hindi naman ako pwedeng magreklamo dahil alam ko na pinaghirapan ito ni Aunt Marites. I was just smiling while facing them—hindi ako nagpapakita ng pagkakadisgusto dahil alam ko naman na ang iba sa mga bisita nila Daddy at Auntie ay mga nasa pulitika at mga kasosyo sa negosyo.
Saglit akong nagpaalam kay Aunt Marites. Gusto kong umakyat muna sa kwarto ko para makapagpahinga ng kahit kaunti. I felt so tired from walking from one place to another. Hindi na rin naman kailangang ang presensya ko roon. I was looking for John, but he was not there. Hindi na lang ako nag-expect na darating siya dahil base na rin sa mga reliable source ko, ay magkasama ngayon si John at si Venice, and that hurts me. Gusto kong mag-demand at magalit, pero wala naman akong karapatan dahil hindi naman kami at wala namang kami ni John. Ako lang naman iyong nagmamahal.
I sat down on my bed. Kinuha ko iyong unan ko at yinakap iyon. My twentieth birthday was just fine, but I was expecting John to put in extra effort for me, but I know he couldn't do that.
Desperada na ako. I saw my daddy and John's father talking earlier. Daddy was smiling at me when he saw me. May kakaiba sa paraan ng pagkakangiti ni Daddy at iyon ang hindi ko mawari. Hinubad ko na iyong stiletto ko dahil nanakit na ang aking mga paa sa kakatayo. Hindi ko alam, pero hindi ako lubusang masaya dahil sa kaarawan ko. I feel like something's wrong, and I don't know what it is. Hindi ko ma-pinpoint. I spent half an hour thinking about what was lacking, pero wala naman akong maisip. I just ended up removing my dress and went to my bathroom with just undies on.
I took off my underwear the moment I opened the shower. Ninanamnam ng katawan ko ang lagaslas ng tubig. It made me calm and relaxed. Hindi naman ako nagtagal sa dutsa dahil narinig kong tinawag ako ni Aunt Marites. She was outside the bathroom.
"I am taking my shower, Aunt!" sigaw ko para marinig niya. I was now wiping my body using my blue towel.
"Okay, sweetie. Are you going to sleep na?" tanong nito sa akin.
"Yes, Aunt, I am tired," wika ko. Hindi na sumagot si Aunt Marites. Narinig ko na lang ang pagbukas at pagsara ng pinto ng kwarto ko.
I wore my robe before I went out of the bathroom. Hindi mawala sa isip ko si John. He kept on assaulting my mind, and I think that's already unhealthy. I shouldn't think of him more often.
At isa pa 'to si Ares, na akala ko ay pupunta sa party ko. My Aunt Marites told me that she invited Ares, but she got no response from him, and what surprised me more was he told me that he is coming home for me, pero wala naman siya—that frustrates me even more.
I was also thinking that maybe Ares is just playing with me. He was just trying to befriend me because I am such a good benefit for him. Mayaman ako. Senador ang daddy ko at malaking negosyo ang mayroon kami. I can be one of those crazy rich Asians.
I tend to get what I want and what I wish in just a snap. Hindi mahirap dahil nga may pera ang pamilya namin, and my father can sustain my needs and also my caprices. Walang problema lahat, pero I just realized one thing: hindi naman lahat ng bagay ay nabibili ng pera—I can't buy love with money.
I am still twenty, a very young lady who is still confused about what path I should take. Nagsimula na ako sa mga workshop dahil ni-enroll ako ni Aunt Marites, pero hindi ko pa rin alam kung pag-aartista ba talaga ang gusto kong gawin sa buhay ko.
Kinabukasan, ay bumungad sa akin ang haring araw na sumisilip sa bintana ko. Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog pala ako kagabi dahil sa kakaisip. Hinihintay ko rin ang isang taong nangako sa akin na uuwi siya, pero wala pa rin. I went down to the kitchen to check if our kasambahay had cooked anything. Pumunta na ng trabaho si Daddy, kasama niya si Aunt Marites dahil na rin may importante raw silang pag-uusapan tungkol din sa negosyo.
