He says"Hi."

4

Play Music Now

Ring
Ring
Ring
BEEP!

"Hey this is Noah, you already know what to do let's not waste time with the formal shit."

"Noah, it's Ana-Lia, again. Call me when you get the time."

I have heard that recording six times in a row. I get that he was mad but common not even a text?!

Sigh

In a way, I did not blame him for being upset, we had been together for a while. Maybe I did owe it him, right?

"Ugh!" I exclaimed as I shoved my phone back in my pocket.

At that point, I had temporarily given up on contacting Noah. I had just figured he might have needed his space so that is what I granted him.

I continued my journey home. And honestly, I could not wait to get home and just relax. I knew that the day was not long but I really had the need to just slow down. The general stress of high-school and NOW the growing fear of my boyfriend possibly hating me, just made me feel like shit.

And at this point, feeling like shit was my default setting.

***

Then there was dad.

Sigh

I read somewhere that survivor's guilt lasts around 3 years. I guess the seven years, where I had been feeling it, was a little excessive, to say the least.

Not a day went by where I didn't think of my father, how he died. And how I did nothing for him at that moment.

All I did was stare and cry while he was trying to calm me down. In his moment of need HE was the one helping me. Every time that I looked back on that day, I couldn't help but tell myself that...

I was selfish that day. All my begging, crying and pleading did not help him. And clutching onto him wasn't going to keep him alive.

Any sane person would have at least called an ambulance. Literally anyone would have done that, so why didn't I do it?

And every time I gave myself the same answer...

Because I was too idiotic to even think of doing that. I was lucky someone in the neighbourhood called for help.

This was all because of me. If he had not been trying to protect me he would have made it home safely. His death was all my fault. I was the one holding him back from surviving. He would have gotten the chance to escape.

I'm so sorry dad.

***

Though I had not been paying much attention, I found myself standing at the door of my house. As I inserted the key I noticed my hands began shaking. My breathing also became unsteady. However, I managed to get the door open. As I walked in to I noticed that there was no one inside. That's when I remembered, Mom and Arthur were still at work and Kate's was at kindergarten. And Marcus must have been hanging back be with Daniel.

Guess I had the whole house to myself for a little while. I decided to head to my room just so I could calm down and maybe close my eyes for a bit. Whilst walking upstairs, I felt that with every step I took, that my feet had just gotten heavier.

I let out a sigh of relief escaped as I finally made it to my room. Pushing the door open, my vision suddenly became blurry.

Tears threatened to escape as that shaking feeling from yesterday had now reached my entire body. As if I had just walked in from a blizzard.

My body had stopped shaking but now I could barely move. My eyes started to feel heavy. And all of a sudden a loud ringing filled my ears.

My surroundings were losing its colour and were replaced by a growing blackness. Before I knew it, the last thing I felt was my body hitting the ground in a loud THUD.

It all went black.