Pan-Tastic Adventures

077

You ever just fall into a crush with someone you know for certain will never like you back? But not in a sexual sort of way, I mean.

I've identified as Aromantic for almost 6 months and I felt like relationships built on romance weren't something I'd be into. But here I am, developing a crush on someone, and not feeling sexual attraction towards them.

I'm not going to say who the person is, because it's not important, but I should talk about them. We'll call them...Beyoncé or whatever.

Okay, well just recently, Beyoncé and I started talking...like in a friendly way, not in any flirtatious ways. In fact, me and them don't flirt at all, we just talk to each other a lot. Because we share some common likes and dislikes. But people have been saying "oh, I think they like you!" And I have no clue as to way my dumbass brain is starting to believe them.

Beyoncé isn't attractive to me, they're not ugly, but they're not my type at all. But for some reason, I find myself thinking about them almost constantly. Like, I'll talk about Beyoncé a lot to my parents or my online friends. Half the time I don't even realize I'm doing it. I hate myself for it because I know Beyoncé doesn't like me back.

Beyoncé...likes a certain gender and I am not that certain gender. Not through their eyes anyways, which I have no problem with. Because I don't prefer their gender anyways.

I'm just extremely confused as to why I get so jealous when Beyoncé talks to other people, or hangs out with other people instead of talking or hanging with me. But it's not as in a territorial thing. And I really hate myself for it, because

Like I don't see myself like have a physical attraction towards Beyoncé. But I go into grade-A bitch mode when I see Beyoncé with someone else. Do y'all ever get that way with someone? You don't want them, but you can't stand seeing them with someone else?

Well, I don't know for certain if I like Beyoncé or not. Maybe it's just a quick little phase I'll go through and be done with. Hopefully, it's nothing.