Elizabeth does not know how much longer she can stand strong; she's bound to fall apart. The arranged marriage is her last straw, she feels her walls crumbling down and is ready to give up in a snap of a finger. Almost as quickly, the sweet and inn...
I moved around in my soft bed, snuggling closer into my blanket. I felt sun rays hitting my eyelids, the slight discomfort forcing my eyes open. I quickly turned around, away from them. I rubbed my eyelids trying to regain some consciousness but just ended up snuggling closer into my cocoon. The small sunrays became more aggressive as I fluttered open my eyelids.
I wanted to stay her forever, warm and comfortable, but this was of course impossible.
I moved my blanket away, the cool air hitting my skin causing goosebumps to appear on my skin. Next, I let my feet fall of the bed on the floor, once again becoming a victim of the torturous weather.
I walked to the bathroom, well, mini-sprinted.Once there I started physically preparing to look presentable. I caught sight of my already prepared clothes, as usual lying on the counter. I stared in the mirror. The dress layed on my figure perfectly, as any custom made dress should. I let my hands roam down my waist, my hands gliding smoothly over the silky fabric. The soft fabric looked to be weightless on my fair skin, gently settling on the curves but it felt like I was carrying a weight with me, slowly dragging me down.
I fisted the fabric in my hands, wrinkling it. This small action, as innocuous as it seemed, was my way of disobeying them. Disobeying my parents. Disobeying faith. I would not surrender to them. I slowly let go of it and it fell to its original position, just slight fine lines visible.
I wait patiently in my chamber for my maid to come and fetch me. I cherish the silence, which in return helps me stay true to myself. Outside the small snowflakes are falling out of the sky. Gently settling on the first object they encounter. I observe one leave as hundreds of snowflakes settle on it and give it a majestic white colour. I wonder how coating something in all white results in something so-
"Dear, breakfast is ready" announces my maid.
As always, she cuts off my daydreaming, which I should consider a good thing. Otherwise I would imagine myself somewhere else, somewhere beautiful, somewhere where I could be free. Which would only be a huge disappointment.
I looked up to my maid. Clarissa has always been a mother-like figure for me, entertaining me and taking care of me. I did not want to imagine what life here would be like without her. She was truly a blessing
"Thank you, Clarissa. I'll come down immediately" I smiled at her
So I followed her to the dining room, which could fit at least 100 people. I've been walking down these halls for 17 years, these walls are all I've ever known, every day the same routines, the same hopelessness. I was met with a set of doors, decorated with gold and the finest details. As I entered the room my parents, queen Maria and king Arthur, were already both seated. They slightly looked up to me and continued their breakfast.
"Good morning" I greeted my parents as I took my seat.
Looking down, I saw that my plate had already been filled with delicious aromas. I choose a spoon from the many next to my plate and delicately ate my food, like a lady. After my stomach was full, I thought about all the children hungry in my kingdom. I couldn't help but notice how our breakfast could feed at least 20 people. The sudden warmth from the heater or the delicious food of which the half will probably be thrown away didn't feel nice, it brought other feelings to the surface. Feelings which make me nauseous. I tried to suppress them because last time I voiced my concerns, it took a bad turn.
"Elizabeth, I'd like to have a talk with you" My mother's authoritative voice cut through the silence. I agreed with her, as if I had a choice.
After breakfast my mother and I headed to the gardens. The gardens were covered with flowers, our professional gardeners taking care of everything. It was truly beautiful, one of my favourite places on earth. The sight of all these mixed colours were a fresh breath of air compared to the dull, cage-like structure of the castle. The red of the roses, the purple of the balloon flowers, the white of the anemone's, come together to make a breathtaking sight. One of my hopes is to sustain and build one myself. But then I reminded myself that a queen should never do any labour.
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My mother and I walked side by side on the wide path, the plants glistening against the sun. We followed the path to a bench, surrounded a one type of flower. The flower has a heart shaped form and is a luminous pink, giving the place a warm feeling. The bleeding heart, had caught my attention when I was 12 so I had told Clarissa about them, in hopes of learning more about them. She had taught me about them and had even surprised me with asking the gardener to plant them by them bench, making a sanctuary for me. This gesture had filled my young heart, making me burst out in tears. Since then Clarissa had been teaching everything there was to know about the garden.
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I looked to my right at my mother. Her face was as emotionless as always, making her beautiful features lose its softness. I wondered, did she know what my favourite flower was?
"So, as you know your birthday is in a week. You will be turning 18 years, becoming a full-woman." she started off, not looking at me.
"I know mother, I'm very happy with the ball you are throwing for me" lie.
"Of course, this ball is very important as is your birthday. This is what I wanted to talk about. As I was saying before, now that you are 18 it is crucial for you to start preparing to become queen."
So, what where the last 18 years of my life?
"Not only does this require wisdom about the kingdom, this includes someone who will help you in this journey. Someone who will benefit your country and stand by you. This is why we have asked Lord Adam to bring his son to the ball and introduce you both in hopes of a family alliance in the future" she finished off, finally looking at me. Her eyes dared me to protest.
I wanted to scream.
I'm frustrated. Frustrated because there's nothing I can do. Because this is not a shock, this is what I've been groomed for since the day I could form sentences.
I know this would happen but I can't help but feel my throat closing up and my eyes prickling.
I tried to keep my composure neutral, only slightly clenching my fists.
With the most emotionless voice, trying to keep my voice from cracking, I answered; "Of course mother, whatever you see fit"
All I could feel was how my chest kept aching and how my eyes kept prickling.
So, this was the first chapter! Let me know what you thought and please vote if you liked it, it would mean the world to me .
