die without you; j.g

five;

holland's pov;

i walk into mr. taylor's class with jack, late again. i do not feel like listening to his ass again or even coming to school today. i'm nervous to see if parker or gen will even want to talk to me anymore. "late again, i see." mr. taylor comments, not looking up from his papers. i roll my eyes and follow jack to our seats, hoping that's the last of it i hear. "if you're late one more time, i'm going to have to give you detention."

"whatever," i mutter.

"okay, class i'm gonna give you today to work on your projects that are due in a week." mr. taylor announces. jack slides his chair closer to mine.

"we're still not doing this, right?" nate asks and jack and i nod. the classroom door opens and carter walks in making me tense up immediately.

"what do you need, mr williams?" mr taylor asks.

"coach tiller needs to see holland," carter says, i've haven't even fucking talked to coach tiller since he kicked me off the soccer team, so i know he's lying.

"alright, go ahead holland." mr taylor motions me to the door and i reluctantly get up, clearly against jacks wishes, considering the glares he's sending me and carter. i send him a look of assurance and walk outside with carter. after a minute of walking with no destination carter speaks,

"so, coach doesn't actually need you." he admits.

"yeah i fucking know, you idiot. what do you want?"

"i wanted to talk to you and apologize," he starts, but i stop him.

"like my grandma used to say, "you're a day late and a dollar short."

"holland can you please just listen?" he snaps. i shut my mouth and decide to let him talk, " okay so, i'm sorry for what i did last year, it was not cool. i should've stayed and talked to you about it," he says.

i chuckle, "talked to me about what? it was pretty clear at the time that the feelings weren't mutual."

"that's the thing, they were mutual. i was scared and to be honest, i still am, because the feelings are there for me, and they have been since last year," his words make me want to scream, but i restrain from it.

i turn to face him, "shut the fuck up, carter."

"no, because i mean it. and i've been a dick lately," i mutter a 'yeah', but he continues, "i'm sorry i've been acting like that, especially yesterday when i said that jack."

"oh you mean when you basically called me a whore?" i smile sarcastically.

he scratches the back of his neck, nervously, "yeah, i'm really sorry about that. obviously that's not true. anyways, i wanted to tell you what i should've told you last year. i like you, holland. and i know our relationship is shit right now, but i'm willing to try if you are." he smiles, hopefully.

anger pierces through my veins and i can barely control my anger, but somehow i manage to hold it together and say the two words i've been dying to say to him since last year. "fuck. off." i seethe, before turning around and walking away from him. i want him to feel what i felt, i need him to understand what he really did to me that day.

when i walk back into the classroom, i didn't notice a tear was running down my cheek and immediately jack sees. he gets up and runs over to me, putting his hand on my cheek and wiping it away. "what did he do, hol? i swear to god i'll beat h-" he begins angrily, but i put my hand on his and he stops.

"no, please don't jack. i'll tell you about what happened later, but right now i'm fine. in fact, i'm great," i smile widely, i finally gave that bastard what he deserved.