die without you; j.g

twelve;

holland's pov;

i was sitting down on the couch watching netflix and eating ramen when i hear the door swing open. i immediately turn my head to see if it was jack, and it was. he was here. i jump off the couch quickly and make my way over to him, throwing my arms around his shoulders. "where the fuck have you been?" i mumble into his chest before pulling away.

he quickly moved forward, grabs my face and smashes his lips against mine. i kissed back without thinking before pushing him away. "you can't just come back after disappearing for a week and kiss me without an explanation!" i exclaim.

"sorry," he looks down. "i just... needed that." he whispers, not looking back up at me. something is wrong.

"hey, what's wrong?" i ask, moving my hand to stroke his cheek. he doesn't answer, just sniffles. i place my hand on his chin and lift his face up to look at me. "jack... what's going on?" he stays silent and just looks at me with sad, soft eyes. they even kind of looked guilty. "where have you been?" i continue to question because he wasn't answering.

"i've been around," his voice wavered.

i scoff, unintentionally at his clearly bullshit answer. "what do you mean around?" i take a step back away from him.

"i-i went to g-go see my grandmother. my grandpa died a few months ago and i've been wanting to check up on her." he stutters out, which makes his excuse less believable, but i couldn't bring myself to call him a liar. i wanted to believe him, i needed to believe him, and so i did.

"oh, jack," i breathe out. "im so sorry, i didn't know about your grandpa,"

he waves it off, "no, don't... it happened awhile ago. i'm fine, i'm over it."

"oh.." i look down, knowing that it wasn't true, you just don't get over someone's death. he was hiding his feelings, which sucked. i decide to leave it alone and move on. "well, how was she?" i ask.

he hesitates for a second before answering, "she's good... better than i thought she would be." he admitted.

"well, that's good." i smile softly, trying to lighten he mood.

"uh, yeah.. it is." jack's lips curved upwards, but i could tell it wasn't real. i've gotten really good at reading jack in the time that i've been hanging out with him. "um, have you talked to nate, sam, or johnson?" he asks.

"yes, asking them where you were. they didn't give me an answer because they're assholes, and ya know 'bros before hoes'," i joke, earning a chuckle from him. "but i did hang out with sammy and nate a couple times."

"sam?" he raises his brows. "you hung out with sam? i didn't know you two were close, i knew you and nate were friends but sam?"

"i'm close friends with you all. why is t so surprising that i hung with sam?" i laugh softly, curious.

"well, sam isn't the type to just be friends and hang out with a girl unless..." he trails off, but i knew exactly what he was getting at.

"oh... he wouldn't make a move on me, he knows that i just think of him as a friend and besides i would never go for him, i have my eyes on someone else," i break out into a smile, and red flushes my cheeks even though i'm the one that said it.

"and who might that be?" he smirks pulling me close to him by my waist.

"it's a secret." i tease, winking, before he leans down again to peck my lips. but i pull away when i remember carters words from today.

"he slept around with like every girl he could but he always went back to katie"

he looks at me confused with my sudden action. "did you sleep around on katie?" i blurt out, my lips moving without my consent.