die without you; j.g

nineteen;

holland's pov;

after i fled the bathroom, i rushed through the halls looking for carter or gen, but desperately trying to avoid parker. i facetimed gen and she answered within seconds. "where are you?" i ask immediately.

"i'm with parker and carter. we were looking for you." i groan at the sound of parker's name. "where are you and why'd you leave with jack?"

"i left with jack to clean him up, he didn't deserve to get beat up and i didn't want him to think that i wanted this to happen." i explain.

"did you two talk about what happened?" carter asked from outside the camera view.

"he tried but, um, i didn't want to hear it." i tell him, looking at their surroundings trying to figure out where they were. "are you guys outside?"

gen nods as she takes a sip of her coffee, "football field, come meet us." she notices my hesitation to accept and rolls her eyes playfully, "parker's sorry for what happened, just come on." i breathe out and nod  before hanging up and exiting the school.

it didn't take long before i reached the bleachers where they all sat. i walk up and take a seat next to carter. "why the fuck did you beat him that bad?" i snapped at parker almost immediately.

"pfft, he deserved it." he blows it off, sighing.

"no he fucking didn't, asshole. violence is so unnecessary and you know i hate it." i argue back and he just sits back on the bleachers not giving a care in the world.

"it was something that i needed to do, not even just for you." he replies looking at me.

"why did you need to do it?"

"because! you were gonna let him go on as if he didn't hurt you, he didn't even apologize. i'm your best friend so i feel what you feel and i hate seeing you so sad because it makes me sad." his voice started off strong but got softer as he kept
talking.

"that doesn't give you an excuse." i push, still angry.

"yeah well i don't give a shit. what happened happened and i can't change it now, nor do i want to. i don't regret it." parker says, his words thick with seriousness.

i am so angry with parker for what he did and he's not even taking my anger seriously. he just expects me to get over it. i don't even understand why he's acting like this, he's never acted this way before and it's not a good look for him. "why are you more mad at him than i am?" i blurt.

"i'm as angry at him as you should be."

"we weren't together!" i yelled, unintentionally. "how many times do i have to say it? he didn't cheat, okay, he didn't do anything wrong. i'm just jealous, if anything this whole thing is my fault for expecting more than i should've. i'm sick of saying this shit over and over again so can we please just drop all of the jack shit?"

"if he didn't do anything wrong then why aren't you talking to him? why did you leave his house? why did you cry over him?" parker questions.

"why is this such a big deal to you?"

"he could've had something great, someone great, someone like you and he just screwed it up without a second thought! how are none of you fuming with anger about it?" he snaps. again.

i pause for second trying to understand what he was saying before replying, "i'm just not as great as you're making me out to be."

parker looks at me for a second before chuckling bitterly, shaking his head, and walking away. "come on, where are you going parker?" gen calls out.