die without you; j.g

twenty;

holland's pov;

it's been about a week since i decided that i could be friends with jack again. tonight is the first night we're actually going to hang out again. it's a small get together at jacks with all the guys. i begged parker to come with me even though he was beyond pissed that i'd agreed to be jacks friend again.

a week ago

"what the fuck is wrong with you?" parker snapped loudly.

"everyone deserves a second chance parker," i said calmly, not trying to escalate the situation any further.

"not him!" he continued, "you can only give a guy like that one chance, okay? and he blew it."

"i gave carter another chance and you didn't seem to have a problem with that. and carter was just as much of a dick as jack was." i point out.

"carter is different and you know that."

"how are they different? i just don't want to hold grudges anymore, it's tiring, and he was a good friend to me when that's all he was." i sigh when i look to him  and see he's not having good any of this. "look, just please come with me this weekend to hang out at his place, all the guys are gonna be there and i want you there."

"he isn't gonna let me walk into his house and hangout with him after i beat his ass just the other day," he points out.

"yes he will if i ask him to. come on parker, just come." i plead again.

"why aren't you asking carter or gen?"

"because they have a date that they don't want me knowing about," i tell him, "but don't tell them that we know,"

he sighs deeply, "fine i'll go, but no promises that i'll be any fun." i smile widely and pull him into an excited hug.

"yes! thank you, thank you, thank you!"

;

today

i interlock arms with parker and practically drag him to jacks front door so he couldn't back out. there were several cars here that i didn't recognize so i immediately knew there were more people here than jack said there would be.

when i get to the door i don't even bother to knock, i just open the door and walk inside with parker. there was music blasting from the speaker in the kitchen. i see sammy on the couch next to a bunch of guys i don't know. i slowly walk over to him. "yo, holland! you made it, what's up?" he greets and holds out his hand for the bro handshake thing, which i did. "parker, nice seeing you too, man," they both shake hands as well. the one thing i love about sammy is that he doesn't hold grudges or base his feelings about someone off of other people.

"where is everyone? and who are all these people?" i ask loudly over the music.

"the other guys are around here somewhere, but lemme introduce you to these guys. this is derek," he tells me pointing to a tattooed guy with semi long black hair. "and this is tez," he motions to the guy on the other side of him who had long dreads and the brightest smile.

"hi guys, i'm holland and this is parker." i shake both of their hands and parker does the same. parker and derek hit it off and were talking and laughing together almost immediately which made me happy and also gave me the chance to go find jack.

i don't understand why i'm so drawn to jack even after everything that happened. i'm not stupid i know that he knew exactly what he was doing and he knew it hurt me but i still want to be around him. i walk into the kitchen and see the rest of the guys. nate's eyes widen when he sees me. i haven't spoken to him since the whole thing. jack sees me and smiles widely as well as johnson.