die without you; j.g

twenty one[part 2];

holland's pov;

the drive to jacks house was agonizingly slow. even as loud as the radio was, i could only hear my heart pounding. this was some hellacious anxiety.

with everything that's happened over the past couple months i just don't understand nate's eagerness to go to this thing. i only see this ending in one way: an argument. i don't see a way where this whole day can go peacefully when so much has been left unsaid. bringing all of us back together, there's bound to be some slips. one slip, and there could be a screaming match.

pulling up to jacks, i see everyone's cars, lined down the side. "okay i changed my mind i can't," i state.

"we're here, you're coming."

i cross my arms over my chest, "he hates me," i whisper lowly.

nate softly grabs my chin and faces me to look at him. "who could ever hate you?" he whispers softly stroking my chin. the combination of my nerves and how sweet nate was caused a tear to slide down my cheek. "don't cry," he says wiping the tear away.

i sniffle and nod my head, "okay, i'm not ready but i'm as ready as i'll ever be."

"that's my girl," he smiles and pats my thigh before opening his door and i do the same. he waits for me and interlocks our fingers. we walk up to the door and just as we were about to knock the front door swings open and we're met with jack. you could probably see my chest moving from how hard my heart was beating.

"nate!" jack smiles widely and daps nate up. "come on in," he opens the door wider and we walk inside. jj and sammy are sitting on the couch mouthing the words to drake and parker and gen are standing in the kitchen talking. i awkwardly clutch into nate's arm as he leads me into the living room and sits on the couch. i sit next to him and he puts his hand on me knee.

i lean into his side and whisper, "he didn't even look at me." he just rolls his eyes and kisses my cheek. i feel someone plop down next to me on the couch so i look over and it's parker.

"hey holland," he wraps his arms around me tightly and i do the same. "nate's been keeping you to himself lately."

"hell no, bro. i've been begging her to leave the house!" nate exclaims playfully.

"it's true. i didn't even want to come here."

"you know, jacks over what happened." parker assures.

"what, all of the sudden you're best friends with jack?" i raise my brows.

just as he was about to reply were interrupted with high pitched screaming. we all turn around to see katie jumping into jacks arms while he spins her around. i quickly turn my head from looking, "no, i can't be here." i stand up and rush out the door, careful not to look at jack. as i was walking off the porch i hear the door open back up behind me.

"holland, what are you doing?" it's was nate's voice.

"you didn't tell me she was going to be here!" i yell at him, not even caring if anyone in the house heard.

"because i knew you wouldn't come if you knew," he explains calmly, approaching me.

"yeah, you're fucking right. now take me home."

he grabs my hands, "no, baby. let's just stay."

i look at him for a second before pulling my hands away and turning around, "fine i'll walk." i hear nate sigh behind me.

"why are you being like this?"

"because i don't want to see her, nate!" i snap. "i don't want to see them together!"

"i thought you were over him." i can hear the quiver in his voice. i quickly turn around to reassure him.

"i am over him. i swear, i am. i'm just not over the situation." i grab his hand.

"if you want to be with him, just tell me."

"i don't. i don't want to be with him. he's not worth it." i lean up and kiss nate and he quickly kisses back, which makes me let out a breath of relief. "you're better than him, and i realize that."

"yeah, he is." a voice speaks up from behind us. we both turn to see jack standing on the front porch watching us. i just stand there looking at him, not knowing what to say. "are you guys leaving? i would love it if you stayed."

i take a deep breath and respond, "sure." nate smiles and rubs my lower back in thanks.

;

after a couple hours of being at jacks, i still haven't spoken with him. nate was in the bathroom and gen, parker, katie, sammy, and jj were all playing beer pong. i don't like beer at all so i just decided to sit in the living room and watch.

"how are things with nate?" i look up to see jack taking a seat next to me.

"how are things with katie?" i fire back, a little too aggressively.

"don't do this." jack sighs.

"do what?"

"this. can't we be friends again?"

i laugh out loud at his question. "that's hilarious."

"it wasn't a joke," he says sternly.

"just stop."

"look i know what i did what fucked up.."

i cut him off there with more laughter. "fucked up, is that what you call it?"

"can we not have a serious conversation?" he asks, irritated.

"you hurt me," my eyes shoot up to his. "and you don't get to come back, earn my trust, and do it again."

"i'm not going to hurt you again."

"boy, you have all the jokes tonight," i chuckle.

"fine, if you don't want to work it out then you don't have to. i'm so done with your shit." he says angrily getting up.

"you're done with my shit?" i question, loudly catching the attention of the others.

"yes! you're acting like a child!"

"a child? i'm acting how i'm supposed to act when the guy who broke my heart tries to wiggle his way back in!" i yell. everyone else there was speechless.

"i'm trying to make things right!" he argues.

"you will never makes things right!"

"you are such a baby, just get over yourself already. no wonder i got bored of you so quick." my breath halters at his last sentence and my eyes fill with tears that i refuse to let out.

"what's going on in here?" nate asks as he walks in.

i walk up closer to jack, "go to hell." i turn around and rush out of the house, letting the tears fall once i was outside.
;

[a/n] i'm backkkk