We Came From The Dark Ages

O N E

those days   /    28.05.18

are the worst
today is one of those days
the days where you
lie there and think
where nothing really feels right or real
and you think maybe
it's a dream because
everything feels heavy
or not all right
no, instead it's all wrong
like you can't breathe straight
but your lungs are working fine
you aren't sad or angry or tired
yet you want to sleep and
you feel like everyone should cry or punch
a wall but you're there
and you want it to be
a dream but you know
you feel like
this

because now you feel it all at once
it's all too real but it doesn't feel
real because you're feeling
the world the way it
really is you're not seeing it for
what it's worth but rather everything
is crashing down
and it's so heavy on your ribs
you're not down or at least you don't
feel like you are
maybe this is the
depression that's making you feel like this but you don't
feel tremendous sadness

you just want to lay here
and think but you can't because
people want
everything from you whether
you want to give it or not
and all you want to do is sleep but
then you get angry because
you know that tomorrow you have
to get up and go through
everything again and hope
that you don't have another one
of those days
because all you'll want to do is sleep
but you can't and you're not tired but
what else is there
to do but sleep
when you feel like
this

nothing is the same on
these days
you feel like a stranger in your own
body
home
and mind
but you know this is yours and you
want to leave it all but you
can't because it's your responsibility
to take care of yourself whether you
asked to or not
and in your life time
you are going to have many
of those days and nothing can stop
that so get used to it now

feel the weight crushing and just try
to sleep but know that you'll
always be exhausted no matter
what you try to do
even when you don't feel tired
because today is one
of those days
sometimes every day is one of
those days
and sometimes it doesn't end but
what you have to do is sit there and think
even if it's too much work or too tiring
because what else is there to do on those days when you
can't goddamn
sleep.