Agent Arizona: Season 16

Pizza the Action

"Jump. Off. A. Cliff." Grif sneers at Doc. 

"No, thank you." Doc retorts. 

"I refuse to let anyone else invent pizza but the ancient Italians, Doc. These guys may be dumb as dirt, but their blood is rich in tomato sauce."

"I actually think tomatoes are native to the Americas...which haven't been discovered yet." Doc points out. "Which could explain, you know. Us sucking at this?" 

Grif and Doc then travel to Italy where Grif is arguing with a couple of Italians. 

"Bullcrap. You understand, right? Dough on the bottom, then the to-ma-to. Then the mozzarella. Then you bake it. But just the right amount! Too much and you get a cracker crust, which is a mortal sin, you neanderthal! Got it?" 

The Italians stare for a moment, then turn and walk away.

"Hey! Get back here!" Grif demands. 

Doc sighs. "I still don't get why you don't just invent pizza yourself. You'd make billions!"

"Uh, the whole point of pizza is that someone else makes it?" 

"I've made pizza."

"Of course you have. Vegan." Grif scowls. "And by the way, being vegan while being made entirely of meat? Kind of hypocritical." 

"Grif, I know this was technically my idea, but I'm starting to question if this is really the best use of a time machine!" Doc admits. 

"Doc, pizza is the food. It's like, perfect in its simplicity." Grif explains. "Three ingredients! A holy trinity that come together to form a greasy triangle of perfection. And from this thin slice of heaven, man has created an edible plate that anything can go on. A new testament. Infinite possibility!" 

Doc glances to the side. "Uh huh." 

"A dessert pizza with a gingerbread base. A Russian nesting pie! Or pizza bites inside of a pizza pocket inside of a calzone on top of a pizza!" 

"Grif." 

"A pizza with the topping underneath! I'm just spitballing!" 

"You want to talk about infinite possibilities? Grif, a time machine can save lives." Doc says bluntly. "We could cure the plague. Stop the great alien war from ever happening?" 

"You help yourself to all those things I don't care for Doc, because I'm delivering history a pizza." Grif replies determined.

Doc runs a hand through his hair. "Ahhhhhh, fine. But if we're gonna teach these people a new dish, we need to cook it for them." 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

On Iris, Tucker and Sister walk out of a portal where Sister grunts frustrated. 

"Freaking endless repeats!" 

Tucker folds his arms. "Oh, come on! It was bound to happen!" 

"You crushed Catherine the Great with a horse." Sister exclaims. 

"How am I supposed to know that robe was lode-bearing?" 

"You crushed Christopher Reeve with a horse." 

"I learned a valuable lesson." Tucker says. "Time travel spooks horses. And that dude's not really Superman. Life's an education, babe." 

Sister stomps her foot. "I'm a simple girl with a simple itch. Time travel tour. And you're screwing it up!" 

"Sounds like someone has the sands of time in herself." Tucker snickers. 

"Ugh!" Sister throws her hands up in anger. She looks around and sees the moon the Reds and Blues had called home when Dylan and Jax came to find them. "What even is this place?"