Helpless

8-That's Not Dancing

  Peter couldn't have been more excited when I told him I'd stay. He invited me to a party that night around the fire, and until then he said I could wander the island and he'd transport me back.
  I didn't bother to change out of the nightgown, even though I had extra clothes in my backpack that had somehow appeared with me. I almost feel like Wendy, wandering around Neverland in a nightgown. The entire experience is surreal. But I feel like it could be fun. And maybe I really could find a family here. I mean, I have nothing to lose anyway.
  The forest in Neverland is quite peaceful. There aren't any bugs and it's the perfect cool, crisp temperature. It's a beautiful island, and I'm glad I'm here instead of some psychopathic world like Wonderland.
  Now that I know about magic, I wonder more and more about my past. Before I was nine of course. Maybe I was in a magic realm. Maybe that's why I can't remember anything.
  My thoughts are interrupted when I suddenly lose my balance. I squeeze my eyes shut and take a shaky deep breath. I hear happy shouts and laughter.
  "Are you alright, love?" I hear Peter's voice ask me and feel two hands on my waist. I shiver at his touch, which sends shocks of electricity through my body. I open my eyes and look around. I'm at the party.
  "Yeah, I'm okay," I tell him as my breaths level out. I pull away from his touch in a panic. I've always been stressed with physical contact. It's a warning that I'm getting too close to people.
  "It's normal to get dizzy when you transport the first couple times. It'll go away," Peter explains, while looking slightly upset that I pulled away. I nod my head. He takes a deep breath and quickly changes the subject. "Well, come on. You can go ahead and dance with them," He gestures to the lost boys with a pan flute. I scoff. "What?" He asks, confused.
  "That's not dancing," I say disdainfully, pointing to the boisterous teenagers.
  "Then what is, Audrey?" He smirks and leans his elbows on his knees so his face is just inches from my own. I swallow dryly out of nerves.
  "It's... it's a more intimate thing. Between two people," I explain.
  "Well, in that case," Pan says. He reaches out, grabs my hand, and snaps his fingers. Before I know it, we're alone on a beach surrounded by candles. I stumble forward from the addlement of the teleportation right into Peter's arms. He laughs. "Okay?"
  "Yeah," I pull myself back from him quickly. He huffs in frustration.
  "Why do you keep doing that?" He asks. I can tell he'd been trying to conceal it, but he couldn't take it anymore. I may have only met him earlier today, but I can tell he has a short temper.
  "Doing what?" I ask innocently.
  "Why do you keep pulling away from me? What do you have against me?"
  "Peter we only met a few hours ago-"
  "And every single time I touch you, you back away from me! What's the problem?" He asks angrily.
  "I just don't know you-"
  "No! You and I both know that's not the reason, Audrey. Why are you so afraid of physical contact? Why are you so afraid to grow close to people?" He demands. I feel hot tears of anger form in my eyes.
  "Because anyone I've ever been close to abandoned me! Every time I let myself get close to someone they break my heart and leave! I've been alone my whole life, I'm not used to people caring! My mother just told me she didn't want me to my face! She told me to leave town! And now I'm here, with someone who wants to care about me even though he just met me hours ago, and I don't know what to do! Because I've never had that before!" I rant. Peter looks at me, heartbroken.
  "You really are a lost girl," He says quietly. I inhale at the realization, and hot tears fall down my face as I stumble backwards. I spin around and sprint into the forest. I grit my teeth as I run through the branches, holding in the screams. Eventually I stop in front of a small tree and unstrap my knife. I slash at the branches in front of me. I slash left and right with all the force I can, before stabbing the trunk and falling down, crippled with utter exhaustion, and fall asleep at the base of the tree.