Helpless

32-Darkest Secrets

  I run out of the treehouse. I hear Peter scream and something shatter, just as Mayor Mills when she rejected me the second time.
  I have to make a choice now. Stay here with a demon and a liar, or go back and be turned into the dark one. I have no one to protect me now. I don't know who to believe. I'm just as I was when I arrived.
  I'm lost.
  So I run to the only person I know to.
  "Baelfire," I cry as I appear in front of the cage.
  "Oh, Audrey. What did he do to you?" He asks, lifting his hand to wipe a tear of my cheek through the small window.
  I tell him the entire story, starting with my arrival on the island. He stays silent for a moment as I finish. The tears are gone by the time I finish the story, leaving behind a dull, dry anger.
  "You loved him didn't you?" He asks.
  "With all of my heart," I reply. He sighs.
  "It sounds like he loves you, too. I spent some time here, Audrey. A few months after you left us, my father abandoned me and the shadow took me. I missed you so much, Audrey. I worried about you so much, hoping you got to where you needed to be. I just wanted you to be safe. Now look what's happened."
  "You know what, Bae? The saddest part about it, is I'm used to it. I can't believe I didn't expect it. It happens every single time. But no one should be on this hellhole of an island. I'm breaking you out," I say defiantly as I pull Jack's machete off of my back. He gave it to me in case of an emergency.
  I use all my strength hacking away at the stiff bamboo framing the cage. I let all my anger flood out.
  "Audrey, Audrey!" I notice Bae trying to get my attention. I turn. "That's not how this works."
  My heart shatters. That's never a good sentence on Neverland. I look at him with wide, fear-filled eyes.
  "This is another one of Pan's games. He set this up to catch Emma and use it to defeat her, but if you do it, we'll be on the path to defeating Pan. But it's a bit brutal, and if you don't want to do it, I'm not going to ask you to."
  I shake my head. "Anything to defeat that demon. What do I have to do?" I ask, determined. I'm not throwing away my chance.
  "You have to expose your deepest, darkest secret. Pan believes that once the secrets are exposed, they'll destroy us. But that was with Emma and I. Your secret will work, without destroying our relationship, and then we can defeat Pan. Together."
  My heart drops. My darkest secret? This won't be easy...
  "Are you up for it?" Baelfire asks me. I take a deep breath to think for a moment.
  Then I release it, prepared for the worst.
  "I still love Peter, and I want to stay here with him. But the worst part, is that Peter isn't here anymore. Pan is the only one that remains, and because of that I don't think I can ever be happy again. Every single time I've been happy, it's been destroyed. It's not even about being in love, it's about having someone actually give a shit about my life. And now after falling in love and having it ripped from my fingertips, every other disappointment in my life feels minor, but I've learned the truth about myself. My secret, is that I don't know how to be happy."
  A few tears escape my eyes as the cage begins to disappear. Baelfire rushes forward and pulls me into a tight hug. No words are spoken, he just holds me as I silently cry on his shoulder.
  "We'll get you out of here, and we'll get you your happiness. You don't deserve this."
  "Thank you, Baelfire. I just hope I can realize it."