Save Me; A Seokjin Centric

ii

'her'

Seokjin had awoken early the next morning. It was 7:00 and the members wouldn't be awake for another few hours. This of course was a good thing. It meant he had plenty of time to cover up the marks from the night before without raising any suspicions from the other members. There was a stash of long sleeved clothing awaiting him in his closet - which he prepared before hand - and fresh bandages since his other's would be soiled with blood spots.

He got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom to freshen up. After doing so, he went to look through is stash of clothing -keeping in mind to wear something comfortable for their dance practice and vocal training happening later on today. He chose a top with tighter fitting sleeves so they wouldn't accidentally roll up and risk exposing his bandages.

Going back to his night dresser, he fetched the roll of bandages from inside the drawer - which he made sure was hidden all the way in the back - and slowly started to unwrap the old strip. Once he got to the end he proceeded to unwrap with care since the dry blood on his skin was adhering to the bandaid. It would sting when he pulled with too much force and he wanted to avoid the risk of opening up the cuts again, that would be a disaster.

He was successfully able to wrap the new bandaid without any troubles and he was about to set course for the kitchen to cook breakfast for the others. "Others" as in excluding himself, but there was still one thing left he had to do.

You see, there are many things that come to term when you are looking at someone like Seokjin. Someone who has anxiety as well as other mental illnesses. Someone who has a mental illness of feeling apprehension or fear. There are different aspects of having anxiety; one being fearing for an event to take place in the future such as a job interview or a big test. But in Seokjin's case - and many others - it's the fear of being looked down on by society.

Everyday Seokjin counts the numbers on the scale, and everyday he looks in the mirror - the results aren't always pretty. He's either pleased with how low the numbers on the scale are or pleased with the slimness of his body, earning him a major weight taken off his shoulders. That, or he wants to throw the dorm's whole stalk of food away. Majority of the time it's the second outcome. So here he is, a foot away from the scale.

167.87 lbs

Fuck.

"Are you kidding me right now." He said to himself barely a whisper. For a short time he stayed on the scale. Just looking at the number. The number looking back at him.

How is this possible? It's been two days since I've last eaten and I've only lost two damn pounds? I guess I have no choice but to skip eating today and tomorrow as well.

With a low huff he took each foot off the scale, watching the numbers go back to zero as he did so.

That was the first step; checking his weight. The second was actually witnessing it himself by looking in the mirror.