Save Me; A Seokjin Centric

v

'her'

September 5th 2017

Today was a big day for the seven. They were in the works of shooting a music video for their newest song, DNA, along with the two teasers. Members were either getting dressed, getting their hair done, or getting their makeup put on; it was easier this way so that there were enough stylists and artists in one setting.

Seokjin was about to get his makeup done by his favourite noona. Not that he didn't like all of them, this one always spoke out to him - literally. She was older then him by about 10 years. He liked being around people that were older than him because they always radiated wise and calm auras. He was always gifted with great life advice without even realizing just by having simple conversations. She was about to lift her brush to apply the base foundation when she hesitated slightly.

"Seokjin-ah.. Your face looks very pale. Have you been overworking yourself?" She asked him. He was caught off guard by the sudden question.

It wasn't any of his managers or members he was talking to here, it was someone he respected a a lot. Someone who's given him advice and guidance through tough times. And he's lied to people before, a lot, but this was someone he felt the need not to. He could be honest with her without having to worry about the sorrow faces or consequences the same way he would have to if she were his bandmates. Although the truth might hurt her - which it definitely will - he knew in the end she would help him...

... but not today.

He's on such a role. He's been losing weight and he's been practicing so much. His dancing is getting slightly better and his singing has improved too with all the work he's been putting into it.

But all good things come with a price...

He may be getting better at dancing, but his bones and muscles ache to their very core. His feet are almost dead to him by the end of the day. It's even gotten to the point where he can't move in his sleep properly without straining a joint or muscle. No matter the amount of muscle relief creams and pain killers, dancing will always find a way to beat him down even farther.

It's his job to sing, right? That's one of his roles in this band, right? So it only makes sense that he builds his voice to perfection. He's always wanted to strive for the stability of Jungkook voice, and he's always wanted to do achieve high notes like Jimin. Hell, there aren't even any words to describe the beauty of Taehyung's singing. And of course there's Seokjin, works too hard only to reach average.

Atleast that's what I tell myself. Everyone always tells me otherwise, I don't believe them though.

His voice has been starting to get strained from the overworking and at times he needs to go a couple hours without speaking just so he can revive his chords a little bit. Have you ever been to a concert where you can't help but scream the entire night only to lose your voice the next day? That's how Seokjin feels. Everyday.

Has Seokjin ever mentioned how much weight he's lost? It's almost perfect and he knows it's time he starts eating again. But...

He's already started and it's almost hard for him to even consider the thought if food staying in his stomach. And before you think of anything, no,

There's no way I can take this as far as being anorexic. That's too unhealthy...
Even for me...

But looking as good as he does now has been quite a struggle and he's been struggling to keep up. Seokjin gets tired. So tired. He can't even go up the dorm stairs without running out of breath, and sometimes basic walking feels like it could take him out. It takes him all the energy he has left from the day to even arrive to the gym.

"No, not at all. I just haven't been getting enough rest because of this come back. Sorry, noona." The last part he whispered with his head down. Right now he was 50% acting but his sincerity was not apart of it.

"Hm, just don't take the work too far. I understand how major it is to keep the image of an idol, but remember your health is even more important. So when this is over, I want you to go home and eat a nice meal and sleep all you want during your upcoming break, alright?" She paused her application to make sure he was listening.

And indeed he was.

The first thing they shot were the outdoor scenes for the teasers and they were now moving onto shooting parts for the music video.

Everyone was scattered amongst themselves to prepare. Makeup artists were organizing makeup, the dressers were getting outfits ready, camera men were switching between cameras, and the directors were busy making sure everything was being set properly.

As for the boys, they were resting away while getting their makeup retouched under the gazebo that was brought for them. Seokjin wasn't in need for anything done so he simply sat lost in his own mind occasionally listening in on the conversations the other's were having.

He's hoping that this music video goes well for them and lands them somewhere big. He's grateful for all the fame and success they've gotten, but over the years he's found out more about the international award shows they have down in the countries like America.

Imagine getting shot at one of those.

But he remembers how big they already are, and award show or not, they've still won the hearts of millions all around the world.

Soon they're called for filming. The head director goes over the routines they'll be shooting - starting with them all in formation. With one last "fighting!" from the staff they move into position.

"Hm, Seokjin-ssi and Taehyung-ssi can you move a little closer, and Namjoon- ssi take one step to your left." One of the camera men says while looking at the screen where the scenes are captured. Once everyone has fixed themselves up the director begins the count to begin.

1...

2...

3...

And with the music they start to dance - which only lasts a few seconds before they cut and begin shooting another scene.

This routine takes about a couple hours before they're finished. Although it's a 4 minute song, making sure they've got the best shots and the lighting is at its most effective is key to making a beautiful music video like the one they're shooting.

---

They get sent home that day with the news they'll continue shooting the rest of the indoor scenes the following day. The word was they needed to eat and rest before that so they were all gathered around the takeout they ordered. A movie was playing in front of them while munching away.
Seokjin as well.

But the more he ate the more he felt uncomfortable, like the food sitting in his stomach wasn't meant to be there. It was like every bite he took added another pound to his body. But he wasn't going to lie, it was delicious. After so long he's eating a proper meal. He thinks back to what his makeup noona said, she would be happy knowing he's doing what she's told him to do. She would be happy knowing that he's eating properly with the rest of his memebers...

...but she never said anything about puking it all out again.

So with a grim smile on his face, Seokjin excused himself to his bathroom.