Save Me; A Seokjin Centric

xi

'tear'

Seokjin awoke the next morning bright and early. He was to be sent home today which was overwhelming for the most part only because he was going back home with the six faces he no doubt hurt. He wasn't sure if he was ready to leave the hospital yet, but he missed home... as well as a nice shower. He sat up-right in his bed to stretch his stiff muscles, which he could do much easier now without the IV hooked to his hand. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the lump on the one seater couch shifting into a more comfortable position before falling into complete somber once again. He heaved a distressed sigh before melting into the pillow behind his back. The evening before, they had discussed who was going to stay with Seokjin for the night because they all refused to leave until someone had volunteered. Even after Seokjin pressed saying it was okay, reminding them that hospital chairs where uncomfortable and he really didn't want their backs sore the next day they payed no mind. But he guessed they loved him too much.

It was amusing how easily the three oldest backed out upon seeing how excited the maknaes got the second they brought up the topic. Bouncing on their feet and hands raised in the air as they shouted something along the lines of me! I wanna stay!

However, it was to Seokjin's dismay. It was a bitter feeling in the pit of his heart. He would have preferred one of other hyung's staying with him. He would have been more comfortable that way. Don't get him wrong, he loves Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung with all his heart, it was just a bitter feeling he couldn't step over.

All his career he felt like he was at the bottom, no talent and no purpose. Being in a group with six talented people made him fall deeper into the thought. While the others were built upon talent; singing, rapping, dancing, producing, you name it, he was street casted just because he had a pretty fucking face. As he continued life as a trainee he thought it was luck. He thought he was the luckiest man alive to be street casted for a pretty face and no talent. He thought you had to be stupid to even consider accepting someone who was talentless to debut in a group under your company. But as the days grew closer to their debut, he realized how foolish he had been. It didn't matter how much he practiced singing after hours or how long he stayed behind after a dance practice, he was still talentless. He was still lacking. The mindset grew further and further as the days turned into months, and months turned into years. While they slowly started climbing to their way up, he found himself slowly falling deeper into the dark. His dongsaengs were so gifted, singing and rapping in such beautiful ways, dancing like they were made for it - acceptance of Namjoon at the time - they deserved everything that was being given to them. They deserved so much. And then there was him, the useless one, the awkward one, the talentless one.

As they grew, so did their fame. But... not everyone's fame. He didn't have to scream it out loud for it to be obvious that Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung were thriving in attention while him and the others stayed a little behind. He watched as they praised Jungkook, sent love to Jimin, and admired Taehyung. The three were practically honored. Even as much as it should, it didn't hurt so much because he wasn't really alone. It's not like Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok (especially Hoseok) were being basked in the same attention. And that's the only reason why it didn't hurt as much, because for all he knows he could have been the only one. But not a day would pass where he wished they were, "they" as in the other three. He didn't care so much about himself. They deserved so much more than him.