The Joys of Being a Winchester

Chapter 10

Jayde's voice faltered as every word tried to stick in her throat, but her willpower and adrenaline was pushing them out. As soon as she said it there was an apparent drop in temperature as the tension in the room weighed down on all of them. No burden lifted from Jayde's shoulders like she had hoped, instead feeling even more dread and hopelessness. Sam was still sat in his chair, staring at his sister before looking to his brother. Dean's face was nothing short of terrified, the overflowing amount of regret he felt at yelling her all too easy to see. He slowly sat down, looking at his much loved little sister.

"Just once... right?" Jayde looked at the both of them, Sam's head now in his hands as he tried to react. Dean could only sit motionless, his green eyes shining with concern. Jayde lifted up her shirt to reveal the many bruises, scars and reminders, Sam looking away after taking only a moment to glance at them.

The were scattered all around her waist, lines where beer bottles and glass slashed her, old markings where her father kicked her in the back, part of her skin slightly mangled in places where she was repeatedly beat. Jayde let her shirt cloth fall back to her skin, only to pull up her sleeves and reveal the thousands of cuts and bruises on her arms. There was hardly an area that didn't have some sort of affliction, the amount of thin cuts barely visible covering mass areas. There were bigger blotches too, places that looked as if one was repeatedly hit in the same area (hard) for hours on end.

Jayde got a reaction she didn't expect; pure rage. Dean got up, throwing his chair across the room and narrowly missing her. She pulled down her sleeves and dodged her own chair being flung to the wall, Sam getting up and trying to calm his brother down, or at least hold him down. Sam had taken it fairly well, but Jayde could tell that he felt immeasurable guilt, as if he had experienced all five stages of grief within seconds.

"Dean! DEAN! Stop it!" Sam grabbed his brother in a lock and waited until he stopped thrashing around for a release. Jayde walked up to both of her brothers, her emotions seemingly stripped. Why hadn't she started crying like she always imagined she would? Why was she somehow so calm, yet feeling pure nothingness after telling the two people she most loved about the nightmares that tormented her all her life, the trauma caused by the man she was supposed to look up to, to love. She held Dean's hands in her own, his fingers shaking violently. She had no idea if she was helping him or not, but when she looked up at him, all she saw was his green eyes full of grief, the vibrant colour dulled by grey emotion. She looked at Sam, whose face was wearing a similar expression, the only difference was he was that he was trying to keep it bottled up, struggle appearing on his face like he was trying to flip a car over.

"It started when I was about 6, a whole ten years ago. Can you believe it?" She smiled, but felt only emptiness when she looked inside her past for answers. "When you two were at school, and I was with him. You didn't think he was always on hunts, did you? Nah, he kept me at the motel or wherever we stayed, determined on making my life a living hell. It started when he slapped me when I complained about being bored, not being able to go to school was terrible. I was so shocked when he hit me, but I was forced to keep quiet after he threatened to kill me or one of you two if I ever told. Then, it just went on and on. When he came home drunk I'd get slashed with broken bottles, kicked around and made to do every last chore. And when you came back, he put on his best smile, as did I. I hid in the motel rooms next door for hours, patching myself up in the bathrooms. Sometimes, I even made friends. I learnt how to do stitches from a nice woman when Dad broke a beer bottle over my arm. She was so sweet, even gave me some food."

Jayde took a moment to close her eyes, the effort to look up at both her brothers and tell such a story was draining her energy, but then again that might also be from her early start and fight from the morning. She took another deep breath and continued on, still curious as to why she hadn't begun to break down into an inconsolable mess.