Part of me (Poems)

The thing I think I love might just kill me

I have been down this road before
The same crushing feelings
The endless wants
The pointless no good thoughts
I love him
Love is a painful word
It's the end of my needs
The never ending feeling for the shadow
He's there then gone
Never there when I need him
I'm losing it with everyday that goes by
The whole in my heart gets bigger with every pasting minute
It will be the end of me
For the life of me I can't fight it
Mind crushing helplessness
Never ending
Never stopping
I want the distant of my eyes to move away
Yet they stay looking at him
Must I close them ?
Do I want to ?
The never ending cycle
It will be the end of me
Yet I don't think I care
For the life of me I have no answer
So I stand
And stare
And hope
And pray
And want
And need
For him to see
For him ...
To stare
To hope
To pray
To want
To need
For me and with me
I know it won't happen
Which is why I know
The thing I think I love might just kill me