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I am so sorry that I haven't uploaded in a few days. School just started and I am being bombarded with homework left, right and center. I'll definitely find time to pre-write some chapters over the weekend so you won't be left without. But onto the chapter! Byee *Clap**Clap*

Josh got his results from the neurologists today. He set out, Ben at his side in the early hours of the morning on this cold November morning. Ice glazed my windowsill, protecting the peeling paint from the harsh winter weather that was moving into New York, attacking from all sides. 

I watched as they both pulled their coats up and over there necks to cover their faces, not wanting them to go numb from the frigid winds. I was so high up as I stalked them as the exited the apartment building that they were barely specs on the ground, yet you could effortlessly see Ben wrap his protective arms around Josh who was shaking, both for the fear to come and the polar conditions. 

They somewhat waddled like penguins down the street, conserving as much heat as they could. It wasn't very long though until I could no longer see them as they rounded a corner. My bedroom door creaked open, unveiling Lizzy standing in the doorway clutching two mugs. She came in slowly, taking a seat next to me where I was perched on my window seat. 

She handed me a steaming mug, taking a sip from her own. I brought the torrid liquid to my lips, taking in the chocolate smell as I took a small sip careful not to burn my tongue.

"Thanks," I said wrapping my hands around the mug, warming them. She nodded, looking out the frosty window, taking another sip. "Do you think Josh will be okay?" Deep down inside I wanted to be so sure that Josh would be okay that I wouldn't have to ask the question, but now I don't know. And I'm not sure if I will ever know. 

She reassuringly rubbed my arm, "He's going to be fine. It's probably just stress. Nothing to worry about." 

A lie. 

I could tell by looking into her eyes, her empty eyes that she was lying. There was something deeper, something I couldn't figure out. It confused me more than I'd like to say, twisted my brain into knots that I could not untie, my questions spiraling uncontrollably around my head not making any sense. 

I couldn't keep contact anymore. I averted her eyes, focusing on what was outside just like she had a few moments ago. Nothing but morning fog lay outside, gradually parting ways as it floated, suspended in the air by an invisible thread attached to the boundless sky. 

"You should get ready, you have a violin lesson with the neighbor." Lizzy stood up, giving me a weak smile as she pulled the door closed behind her. I sighed, continuingly looking out the window for a few more minutes, a feeling of sonder washing over me, leaving soon after I noticed it arrive. 

Begrudgingly, I stood up placing my half-empty mug on my nightstand before making my way over to my wardrobe. I stood there leaning the wardrobe door deciding what to wear; there were lots of clothes, yet I couldn't choose. 

  Soon enough I gave up on deciding and flung on my black pinafore which was the outfit I usually wore when I had no idea what to wear. I quickly got changed, grabbed my violin and walked into the main room. 

Lizzy was on the phone, stiffing as she did so. I could see the light bouncing off of her watering eyes, almost blinding me with the winter sun. She turned her head and acknowledged my leaving before turning back to the window which she was staring out of before. She slumped forwards, rapidly wiping her eyes. 

Deep down inside I knew it was Josh, or about Josh - most likely Ben relaying the message to her. I wanted more than anything for him to be okay, I ached with trembles, hoping that, well hoping that he... I couldn't even imagine what could happen, I just hoped that it wasn't the worse it could be. 

I glanced up at the clock, it's thin, black hands signaling that I had to go. With one more look back towards Lizzy whose face was streaked with tears, I left for my violin lesson. 

-.x.-

I entered the apartment with a small push on the door. My arms ached from my constant bow action, my fingers red from moving them so fluidly from string to string forming the fast-paced tune. It may have been a joyful tune, but I felt empty playing it, too out of place. 

I dumped my violin case by the door, next to the coat rack with now occupied four coats, two of which were dusted with snow. I silently made my way towards the living room, peering my head around the corner; not wanting to be noticed just yet. The scene in front of me made my heart shatter into a million pieces, each being blown away by the winter wind never to be seen again. There they were, all three of them entangled in a hug; all of them crying. 

I turned the corner, keeping my shoulder against the wall; making my presence known but not intruding. It was bad. It was really bad. A tear rolled down my cheek, landing with a salty bite on my lip. I licked it away, and that was the last that came out. Just one tear to mourn what I don't know is in front of me. 

"Grace," my attention was pulled away by Ben, who lifted his head up, "We- "

Josh interrupted him, shakily standing up and approaching me. "I need to talk to you." I nodded my head, placing my hand in his outstretched one, welcoming the sad warmth that he brought with it. 

He signaled for me to go through the window to the fire escape that I knew all too well, the winter wind unpleasantly biting as I entered the outside, sending shivers up my back. He pulled a blanket out of the basket by the window; following me through the window. We both took a seat on the tarped metal beneath us, hanging our legs over the ledge. Josh wrapped the blanket around us, as well as his arm; bringing me close. 

We stayed like that for a while, listening to the silence, suspended in the air. Every now and then a winter bird whistled, making me forget about what was about to be said. But they couldn't keep it away forever. 

"Grace," Josh said breaking the peaceful silence, "I haven't got good news." He licked his lips, removing the remnants of tears that were caught on his lips away. I looked up at him, his eyes puffy from all the crying. He grabbed my hand, "I'm ill, quite ill." 

Silence.

"You're going to get better aren't you?" I asked hopefully, searching for some smidge of faith that he'll be okay. He, however, shook his head, giving me all the information I needed. He wasn't okay. Not one bit. 

"No." he shook his head again. He looked upwards, wishing that it would stop his tears. It didn't. "I'm not going to get better. I'm - I'm- " He began to choke on his tears, struggling to get his words out. "I have something called, called early-onset de - dementia." 

I made an inaudible gasp, my mouth opening slightly knowing about, It, dementia that is. I had read about it before; and everything it brought with it. I wanted to reassure him, tell him he was going to make it through, but, I'm couldn't. 

"I'm," he continued, "I'm going to forget lots of things. At first, at first, it'll be simple things like, like the shopping list or where, where my keys are, but then, it's - it's going to be things, like walking..." he trailed off. At this point, we were both drowning in our tears, and I did the only thing I could. 

I hugged him. 

I wrapped my arms tight around his chest, sobbing into his chest. I didn't want to, it was hard enough for him as it was, but I couldn't stop. They just kept falling and falling, chocking me. I gasped trying to find air but it felt as if I were drowning once more; just like in the apple bobbing. 

"You - you'll forget to dance?" It came out more as a statement, but I wanted to believe that he would always be able to do the thing he loves the most. I wanted him to tell me that some remanence of Josh would be left; that he wouldn't lose his signature Joshiness. Not yet. 

"Yeah, I can't forget to dance, can I?" He smiled weakly at me, but it fell soon afterward. He drew me close again.

He can't forget to dance.