Intricacies

Forever

There will come a time when everything we've ever known; when everything we've ever touched, ever come across, ever seen, ever felt, ever know, has to end.

Endings are inevitable, and one day, something will be taken away from you, whether it be a person, a memory, a trinket, an air loom, the subtle smiles from that one person, the thoughts from a loved one; whatever it may be, something will be taken away from you, and you'll want to fall to the floor crying because you didn't think that it would cause you this much pain or grief.

So you'll fall to the floor crying, or you may not, and you'll feel disoriented and lost and confused as to how quickly it's happened and why this is happening; you'll think why it's happening to you and why it couldn't be someone else, and you'll want so desperately to not have depended on what was taken from you so much.

But that's the thing - sometimes you don't realize just how much you care about something until it's gone. You won't think about all that you wishd you would've said to the certain someone until they've walked out of your life for good; you won't think about everything you wish you would've done and every offer you wish you would've taken until your best friends turns their back to you, suddenly deciding that you were a waste of time.

You won't realize any of that until it's gone. And when it is gone, you'll want to claw at your own skin and wish that you weren't the person that you are at that moment; you'll want to be someone else and have their life without all of the bumps and potholes that made their way into yours.

You'll want to tug the hair out of your own head and fall to the floor crying; crying desperately and horribly as if you've just witnessed something horrifying right before your own naked eyes; and when someone will ask you what's wrong and you tell them that you've lost something, they'll tell you that you're overreacting, and you'll want to say that you're not. So say that - say that you're not overreacting because while what you may have lost may seem trivial and unimportant to the next person, it means something to you.

Don't let people define what's right and wrong for you, especially when it comes to your own feelings and emotions and thoughts. People have their own definitions for that.

Always remember what you have while you have it, and appreciate it. No matter how ugly that necklace that your great aunt gave you, be sure to cherish it; it means a hell of a lot to her because there's a story behind it. There's a story behind it all; there's a story behind you - don't feel like a waste of space or a nuisanence when there's an entire story for you in someone else's book.

You are your own story - write yourself and never stop writing; allow people the privilege of embracing your flaws and faults and mistakes; let them recount and recollect all of your actions that've become grand stories to them.

Allow yourself to be written, unwritten, and rewritten; you'll live on forever that way.