Falling for you

59

The storm cleared.

The antidepressants I had been given started to take effect.

Sam's love and patience guided me throughout the journey.

It was difficult working out the right amount for me.

But we got there.

Eventually.

I sat on the sofa, my head rested on Sam's shoulder as we watched the TV.

He put his arms around me, wrapping them around my stomach.

I felt him flinch and switch the TV off.

He moved away from me and sat staring at his feet.

I was scared.

Was he angry?

Had I done something wrong?

Finally, he spoke up.
"You haven't been eating, have you? That's why you're so thin." He looked at his hands.
They were shaking.

"I-I'm sorry." Tears welled up in my eyes.

"It's me who should be apologizing. I'm supposed to be helping you but you wouldn't have gotten this thin if I had been."
He was really shaking now. His whole body.

I moved over to him and wrapped my arms around his torso, wrapping his shaking hands in mine. "You put too much responsibility on yourself. You're human, too. Besides, I never told you about this, you weren't to know."

"Why didn't - y-ou tell me?" His breathing came out uneven, his words likewise.

"I thought I could deal with it on my own. I didn't want to worry you. Looks like I failed with both of those."

"I w-w-want to help you."

"And I want you to be happy."

"I am hap-p-py."

"I can tell you're not."

Finally, he gave up and lay into me.

I could hear him concentrate on regulating his breathing.

Slowly, the shaking stopped.