dear diary

hell

dear diary,

i already hate school, and it only started about 3 weeks ago. i wanted no drama this year. none. i liked a guy named joey (for a while) and my ex started talking to me again, so i got confused with who i liked, so i hung out with my ex and we made out a little but thats it. the next day i figured my shit out (btw he knew that i liked someone else too) and told him that i liked the other guy more, but that was after i just told my friend that i was dating joey (because it was easier to say) but then when he asked about it i told him it was just simpler to say, because we both liked eachother a lot so it was basically like we were. but we WERENT officially dating, until like a week ago, and now Bella and Sal (my ex) are starting a shit ton of drama, saying that i cheated and shit, when i would fucking never cheat on someone bc that shit hurts and i would never want to put someone through that. it's making me so frustrated, because i WAS going to apologize to Sal, and try to be friends with him. start anew, you know? and then he started all of this, and whenever i think about it i cry, because i didn't want this to happen. i didn't want to hurt anyone. i just wanted to be happy, and i wanted everyone else to be happy. i want to off myself 70% of the time, because i lost two friends who i considered close. why can't everyone be happy? why does this have to happen? bella didn't even come to me to ask for my side, even though she's always talking about, "oh, if drama happens, you should go to the source and see if it's true." yeah, bull fucking shit. i hate this school, and i hate my life right now. i just want my friends back, but i don't really see that happening in the near future. i feel really nauseous right now, and i keep throwing up in my mouth. i have to do an 100 point presentation in health,, i'm honestly just so stressed.