Hiccup and Astrid were visiting another island searching for new traders for Berk. They were standing in line minding their own business when the Viking behind them decided to give them some trouble.
"I was in front of you two." He said slapping Hiccup's shoulder, making him lose balance. Astrid helped him steady himself and turned to the Viking.
"No you weren't. And hands off. The only person that gets to touch Hiccup is me." Astrid said in a warning tone.
The Viking laughed. "Pff. And if I don't? You're no match for me hot lips."
Astrid's face turned fire red. She raised up her axe and Hiccup immediately intervened, although he'd gladly let her chop the man into itty bitty pieces. 'Hot lips'! If he goes much further there's going to be trouble.
"Hey hey hey let's not be violent there Mrs. Haddock!" He kept Astrid from swinging the axe, trying to drop a hint to the man of who he was messing with, but of course he simply didn't catch it, being the idiot he was.
Hiccup turned his back to Astrid and held his arms out. He gave the man a death glare.
"Watch your language around a chieftess sir. Around any woman for that matter."
"Who do you think you are buddy?! Stoick the vast? Pff! He was the only man that could get me to respect anyone! And he's gone now so I don't have to deal with his crap! And I'll talk to women however I want. You're wife you say? Well you could do better. Blondes are pretty stupid from my experience."
Hiccup's eyes went wide. Oh no he did not!
Astrid's blood boiled. "Excuse me?! Oh when I get my hands on you you're goin down! Down down down!!! Hiccup let me at him!!"
Hiccup turned around and flipped Astrid over his shoulder, then turned back to the Viking. Astrid pounded Hiccup's back but this wasn't the first time he had had I prevent her from beating the tar out of a rude Viking.
"Like I said. Blondes are dumb."
"Uh Huh..." Hiccup frowned. "A few words before I let my wife pound you to a pulp with her bare hands."
The man started to interrupt but Hiccup wasn't having it. "Ah ah. Manners sir I am still talking. As I was saying you might want to know who you're talking to before you insult a greatly respected and loved chief. I knew Stoick personally. And this may save you from a broken nose and it may not, once I set Astrid down, who is currently tearing my back apart in case you hadn't noticed, I would apologize immediately. She may look small but she packs a very hard punch. I wish you the best of luck."
"I don't care if you knew Stoick or not!" The man yelled. "The dude was a total control freak and an idiot!"
Hiccup set Astrid down and held her arm so she wouldn't get away. "Hold this!" She said thrusting her axe into his free hand. Hiccup let go and smiled. Oh this would be great.
Many people had now gathered around to see what was going on. Astrid ran at the man and knocked him straight to the ground. "Blondes are dumb huh?!" She fumed as she threw him into the ground. "Gee I'm not very smart so tell me!" She punched him in the nose, breaking it. Hiccup and the crowd winced. "Why in the name of Thor would I be a chieftess if my husband wasn't a very respected chief huh?!"
The man ended up with a broken nose and two black eyes by the time Astrid was finished with him. Hiccup walked over and chuckled. "Yea I guess you don't know how to listen very well. I hinted at this several times but I guess you aren't smart enough to listen," Hiccup reached down and shook the mans hand. "I am Hiccup Haddock, son of Stoick the Vast. Chief of the Hairy Hooligan Tribe of Berk."
The mans eyes widened. "You are Hiccup Haddock the dragon master?!"
"Indeed I am. Well I think we've had enough adventuring for one day Astrid. How about a nice romantic flight around this luscious green island before we head home?" Hiccup said, turning to Astrid.
"I'd love too."
And with that the couple and their dragons disappeared, leaving the Viking to be laughed at and permanently embarrassed.
