Chapter 23:sit back and relax

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I lied.  I had to redeem myself and write a vivid chapter. I am also trying a new format.  Bear with me.

-2braidz


I woke up to the bright yellow sun. It is a beautiful day.  The bright bkue sky and the fluffy white clouds similar looking to mash potatoes.

It's a routine I have now. I lifted my head and let out a yawn. Then my hands found their way to my abdomen and I rubbed my tummy.

Honestly,  I am still in awe that I am pregnant.  I am nineteen years old and pregnant.  Luckily, I only have a few more classes and then I'm done with college. 

I finally got up and took a shower.  I need to wash my hair.  It looks like the tazmanian devil ripped through my hair.

I always find myself staring at my growing stomach.  It just seems like this isn't real.  Almost like this is some sick nightmare that eventually I'll wake up from.

I don't have a car, so I still walk every where I go. I guess it's great exercise for myself and the baby.  I went to 'Mommy and Me' maternity store.

I have to start buying maternity clothes and baby things. I looked around and I saw many women with their boyfriends or husbands there to support them. Some of them had friends or mothers with them.

In a way, it bothered me. Here I am pregnant and the father of my baby is a criminal.  Sounds stereotypical huh?

I just kept shopping.  I saw a cute journal that was paisley print. It's a maternity journal.  They divided into trimesters so you can record what happens.

I also saw a name book.  It a simple looking book. Just white with baby blocks spelling out the title. 

I bought the journal and name book for now. I'm going to take mom with me next time.  She'll know what to get.

I walked back home just to sit and think. Right now I am under a lot of stress.  Between being a young single parent, school, my rapist visiting me yesterday, and just day to day life, I am just tired.

I have truly been stretched physically and emotionally. Honestly,  my therapist thinks I have PTS (post traumatic stress). It may be.  More and more I think it is. 

I don't want to stress because it can cause harm to my baby. I just need to sit back and relax for now.



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