Philophobia ➤ W.M.

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Hmm, I wonder what Astrilde saw this time? After all she was under Wanda's spell...

I've decided that if y'all are still reading by now, you should be prepared for any possible triggers. Just one more time though, I'll say WARNING for all of you who need one. There will be an anxiety attack in this chapter. I tried my hardest to make it seem realistic, but I probably failed, so don't go too hard on me >~<

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Third Person POV; Omniscient View

  Astrilde had awoken not long after the fight had ended. The Avengers were all gathered in the quinjet that had just barely taken off, and none of them looked well. The familiar feeling of fatigue after an attack filled Astrilde's body, and she groaned. That caused several of the Avengers to glance up at her. She was sure she looked bad, her vision was bleary and she was pretty sure she had cried in her vision.

  Not that much was remembered, due to Astrilde's massive anxiety issues while Wanda's powers did their thing. Astrilde felt miserable, and she leaned her head against the quinjet's wall. The slight shaking of the walls were strangely comforting. To be back with the Avenger's was even more so.

  The familiar sting of sad emotions filled her mind when she recalled what had happened with Ultron. Her breaths quickened just a tad, just enough to be noticed. She couldn't help a whimper from escaping her lips. That was enough to snap her brother out of his intent thinking to glance over at her in confusion. He practically ran over to her at the signs of her breakdown, there to comfort her in any way he could.

  That alerted several other Avengers, including Clint Barton, Steve Rogers, and Tony Stark. Thor started rubbing Astrilde's back, murmuring comforting words to her. Meanwhile, Clint and Steve looked at the girl in pity while Tony looked at her with part understanding.

  The only two people who seemed not to notice Astrilde's breakdown was Natasha and Bruce. The former was staring off into space, her features controlled despite the horrors she'd seen in Africa. The latter had his eyes closed, listening to calming classical music while sitting next to Natasha to comfort her.

---

  Astrilde eventually calmed with the help of her beloved brother. Though it was short compared to everything she had gone through with Ultron, that breakdown seemed particularly long. She just couldn't seem to catch her breath. In fact, her eyes had been closed until she had even controlled her breathing to a normal pace. "Thank you, brother," Astrilde whispered, her voice not nearly strong for normal volume.

  "Shh, you must rest sister. You have gone through a lot." Astrilde opened her eyes, looking at her brother. He was staring off into the distance, something she had never seen him do. Her eyebrows were knitted in confusion. She looked at the other Avengers, frowning. They were all dead silent, each of them looking more defeated than the next. The only one who looked vaguely decent was Clint, but she couldn't see his face while he flew the quinjet.

  "Do not worry for me. I will be okay," Astrilde finally said. But will they?

***

Third Person POV; with Astrilde's POV

  After several hours, the quinjet finally landed on the edge of a farm, much to Astrilde's confusion. Her brother had explained what had happened in Africa after an hour or two of sitting in silence, which resulted in another hour of silence.

  The female Asgardian stood, hissing at the pain of not using her limbs for hours. Her eyes glanced at the others, all of whom had also found the strength to stand. Confusion of their location was evident on everybody's face, all except for Natasha and Clint's. Astrilde supposed they had been here before, and they seemed comfortable. More so than Astrilde had seen either of them look. Though, Natasha still seemed shaken up by her encounter with Wanda.

  The group started filing out of the quinjet, Clint supporting Natasha while everyone else hung back behind the two.

---

  "What is this place?" Thor asked as Astrilde, Tony, and him climbed the stairs to the house. She shrugged, looking at the setting appropriate furniture.

  "Safe house...?" Tony responded in another question. Thor looked at him with a doubt filled expression, before he put his arm around his sister in comfort. Astrilde flinched at first with the contact, before relaxing into his grip.

  "Let's hope," Clint muttered, before opening the door. Astrilde cringed at the feeling of love in the air, platonic as well as romantic. She braved through it though, still staying close to Thor.

  "Honey? I'm home," Clint announced loudly as they entered a family room. The familiar feeling of loathing entered Astrilde's chest as a woman walked into the room. She had nothing against the woman, but the love between Clint and the woman was strong. "Hi. Company. Sorry I didn't call ahead."

  The woman pulled him into a kiss, prompting Astrilde to gently push her brother away. She left the house in a bit of a flurry, but not enough to indicate how frustrated she was at the love. The familiar gaze of the Avengers followed her out the door, but she didn't pay the group any attention.

  As she ran through the grass, she started thinking. It wasn't fair to her. Why should she be cursed with this-this curse? She hadn't done anything wrong, she was the one who was the victim. If love wasn't so horrible... but was it? No. It was, she had seen first hand how it destroyed lives, entire villages just because it could.

  A curse was a curse, and it couldn't change. Not even if you accept it, not even if you pretend it's a good thing.

  Astrilde pushed herself farther, running in the direction of the quinjet. The chains of love creaked and groaned as she ran away. She could feel them pulling her back, slowly but surely. Her heart burned with each footfall, but she didn't stop until she reached the clearing the quinjet sat silently in.

  It was only then that she crashed to her knees, pounding her fist into the ground. It was unlike Astrilde to get as angry as she was then, she often was more positive. However, ever since she reached Midgard, no, ever since she banned love from her life, everything became worse. She was more unstable... for Odin's sake, she had even become drunk at that party. She had been drunk and exposed vital parts of her mind to a less than trustworthy assassin.

  Through all that haze, all the pain, anger, anxiety, she couldn't help but consider the worst. What will happen if I don't just accept love?

  It wasn't that easy though, because even if she thought that she could accept the emotion willingly, she was afraid of it. This was only the beginning.

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