Metamorphasize

Hello?***

I smile and don't believe,

The lies that run through my head.

They say "Don't cry..."

But they make me feel like I can't do anything but cry.

Suddenly, I realize,

I am here, but not the same,

My throat always hurts,

I don't want to do the things I once loved,

I sit,

Feeling cold, Making myself colder by typing.

My finger freeze,

I remember things from my past, everything before the incident is still intact,

But all that happened after is now stained with a gray gloom,

A distance, a shade of my feeling.

Soon, everything is this way.

Forgive me, I know I'll wake up, one day.

This dream won't lose its hold on me,

But I remain, to protect those around me.

Those who have faith in me...

Those who haven't known long,

I don't want to go after finally showing courage and revealing the truth.

I am smaller now,

Constantly looking down.

Listening to music that doesn't help my mood,

But what will?

The joyful music I once loved doesn't feel real,

like a little kids song.

Nothing but perky days and happy thoughts.

And I don't want to listen to a song about perseverance....

I am called emo, edgy.

Is there something wrong with what I listen to?

Why?

Because the music I listen to is the only truth about me that I can never hide.

Because me saying the band that is playing is telling something about me you don't wan to know?

You don't want to address?

Maybe instead of screaming at me about this, why not comfort me?

I am still human, I still cry,

I still need a hug....

Someone who wont just hug me quickly, and who wont take it the wrong way,

I don't want a cuddle fest with a boyfriend,

I just want to be hugged by a friend until I feel warm.