Metamorphasize

One of them**

There was a rumor at school, You were gone. I was alone,
Sitting in the hall where so many voices erupt in crazy mornings.
Where people vent, or express gratitude and joy with others, the hall full of students that are constantly silenced! The hall was enveloped in a uncanny silence I can never express, as I open the door, to find no one there. Thoughts cross my mind, the rumors about a shooting. I've heard about them. I know how dangerous they can be and damaging to the families that suffer from the results of a teenager who takes the weapon, who pulls the trigger. I don't feel anxious at all, I'm unphased by the realization that people could die today. Soon people trickle in, sharing their anxious thoughts on the subject, I remain untouched by the apprehension that spills into the room, I'm disconnected. I'm sixth period I realize, the shooting was only a rumor, something that would not occur today, I was overwhelmed with a great sense of dread, unaware of the reason why. When I begin discussing it with my friend I realize....It hits me like a bullet train.... I wanted so badly to die, I was excited for this to happen, the chance to not feel pain anymore... to be free. To be in the arms of God! And I realize how dark I've become and at that point I knew I'd Never go back to who I was before. The old me is dead, leaving only the disjointed child who wants to go home but is afraid of leaving friends behind!
To all the victims of the acts of senseless violence:
I wish I was one of them