Hard Enough

Hospitalised

    As soon as we got to the hospital the doctors start an emergency surgery on my dad. Apparently as I was waiting on them to tell me something I passed out. I woke up in a hospital bed with Liel asleep in a chair right beside me, holding my hand with his head down on the bed. When I would breathe my stomach would get this unbearable pain in it.
    " Liel, what are you doing here? You are suppose to be with Aunt Beth." I said readjusting my body to where I was facing him. He looked up with tears in his eyes. " Liel? Do you understand what happened?" I said almost in a whisper.
    He nodded his head" The doctor said that mommy had to much ouchies to her body so she went to heaven and that he would try his very best to save daddy. Is daddy gonna die sissy?" He said crying more then he was just minutes before. I scooted over to one side of the bed and opened my arms real wide. Liel crawled up on the bed with me and cried on my chest.
   " I don't know if daddy will make it bubby. I do know that all we can do is hope. Daddy and mommy are always telling us to have faith and the thing we most desire is bound to come true." I told him as I embraced him in my arms. Not after long Liel cried himself to sleep in my arms. I laid there for what seemed like forever before aunt Beth walked in the room with her scrubs and two coffees in her hands.
    " Amora, you're awake!" My aunt spoke in a whisper. " How are you feeling?" She said with a week smile.
   " My stomach hurts really bad. Can you move Liel over to that spear bed and call my nurse in here so I can talk to her about whats going on?" I replied to her while releasing Liel from my embrace so she could move him.
    " Of course honey!" She said while sitting her purse and the coffees down on the table. She got Liel and put him in the bed and put the covers over him. She came over and sat down in the chair next to the bed and pushed the nurses button. Only minutes later a nurse walked in, surprised that I was awake.
    " Good morning Mrs. Amora, its nice to see you awake. What can I get for you this morning?" The nurse asked me.
    " Can you tell me what is happening with my dad?" I questioned her, I could feel the tears coming up in my eyes. Then the room fell silent and that's when it hit me. He never made it out of the operating room.
    " Honey, your father didn't make it. We didn't tell Liel because it is to soon to tell him." Aunt Beth said to me as she put her hand on mine. I turned my head towards Liel knowing that it was going to hurt him so bad. I turned toward the nurse while readjusting the bed.
   " How long am I in here for? Because Ill have to get home and pack our stuff. And I have to get our school documents and everything ready to move." I said almost in a yell.
    " What are you talking about Amora?" Aunt Beth asked.
    " Dad said that since you couldn't take care of us that if anything ever happened to the both of them that we were to go to Uncle Jonathan. So I need to know when I'm getting out of here. If I am not out within two days I will sign myself out!" I said looking from aunt Beth to the nurse.
    " Amora, you do know how fatal that could be toward your wounds right? If those stitches tear you are looking forward to another surgery." The doctor said while walking into the room. I looked at him, shocked.
    " What do you mean another surgery? You did surgery on me!" I yell at the doctor.
    " If we wouldn't have you would have died from internal bleeding Amora." The doctor responded calmly.
    " Then you should have let me die!" I said getting out of bed and run to the bathroom. I slammed the door and locked it behind me. I put my back to the door and slid down the door to the floor.
    " Amora, open the door please?" My aunt Beth said gently as if, if she said the wrong thing it would break me.
    " Go away! Go home and take Liel with you I don't want Liel to see me like this, Please?!" I yell while crying on my knees.
    " Okay, we will be back at 10 in the morning to check on you. I love you honey." She said. I could hear her footsteps get faint then they were gone and I was all alone. Tears fell from me face like two waterfalls streaming down a mountain side. I get up from the floor so I can wash my face. Turning the water on and splashing my face I wipe my face with a towel from my hospital bin. After removing the towel, the razor in the bin caught my eye. To myself I thought if I wanted to die this is the only way they wont be able to save me.
    Looking at the razor than looking at myself in the mirror, I take the razor blades out and throw the plastic pieces in the trash.