Hard Enough

Floor 4

Amora's POV

      They moved me to the 4th floor, which is the mental ward wing of the hospital. I have been on this floor for nearly a week and a half. Today is Wednesday, they say I can leave Friday. Aunt Beth has already talked to Uncle Jonathan. I never understood why they got a divorce, they seemed like the perfect couple but I guess the loss of the baby just got between them. 

      Our school records are already being processed at the new school, but I still have some people I have to say goodbye to before I leave completely. The person that is going to be hard to say goodbye to is my childhood best friend Kyle. No, him and I aren't dating. He is gay, I mean the whole 9 miles of rainbow, gay. He has been there with me through everything, its hard to say goodbye. I will be turning 18 next year though so I will be getting Mom and Dad's house so I wont be gone but a year. 

      Currently I am flipping through the channels on the TV and of course there is nothing interesting on. I turn the TV off and and stare at the ceiling.

      " Mommy, I don't want to get on, I'm afraid."

" Baby.... There is nothing to be afraid of, I am right here with you." She said to me as she put my hand in hers. We walked up and gave the man our tickets and took our seats in the roller coaster cart. I squeezed her hand tighter. " Close your eyes it will feel like your flying. Mommy isn't going anywhere, I'm right here I will always be here to protect you baby."

" What about daddy will he always be here to protect me and you from the bad thingys?"

" Of course baby! Your daddy and I love you so much. We will protect you forever and always. We will never leave you." The ride started moving faster and faster, around and around. I closed me eyes and thought, I love you too. The breeze against my face was cold but I loved the feeling of it blowing through my hair. Then the ride jerked to a stop , everything went black and it was all gone.

     I woke up screaming and crying out for my mom and dad to be there. Nurse Faith came running in the room but by then I had already stopped screaming. She slowed done once she noticed that I was okay.  I looked up and thought to myself for a moment, nurse faith doesn't work on Thursdays.

    " What are you doing here today, isn't it your day off?" I said whipping the tears from my eyes. She just come over looked at the machines to make sure everything was alright then she turned looked at me and sat down in the chair beside my bed.

    " Honey, it's Friday. I was off yesterday. Now do you wanna tell me why you were screaming?" she said in a very soothing voice.

     " I guess I slept all through Thursday because the last I remember it was Wednesday. I was having a dream but it was more of a flashback to when I was little and mom and I were getting on a roller coaster. I remember being so afraid but she assured me that she was there with me and would never let anything or anyone hurt me. Then I woke up when the ride was over." I said looking out the window to the other side of my bed.

    " I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this honey, I really am but the real question is are you ready to get back out there. If you're not I can request that you be kept here until your ready." she said with a concerned look on her face.

    " No, I think I'm ready to leave. I have some packing to do and people to say my final goodbyes too." I said looking at her with a reassuring face that I was okay. But was I really, okay I mean. Was I just telling myself that I was so I didn't have to face the truth which was that I would never be okay again.

   " Okay, well I already called you aunt she should be here any second, so go ahead and get dressed. Your clothes are over there on the table. Your aunt brought you some late Wednesday afternoon."

   " Okay, and thanks." I said getting out of bed and walking over to my clothes.

   " For what Amora?" she said turning around and just looking at me curiously.

   " For everything but most importantly being the reason I'm alive, if it weren't for you finding me when you did I would be dead. So, Thank you." I said as I walked up to her and gave her a hug. 

   " Well it's what I do. You're welcome Amora, you have taught me so much these past few weeks. So, I should be thanking you." With that she walked away and left me alone in the room to get dressed. I finally got dressed and not long after I sat down I heard the pitter patter of little feet coming down the hallway. I automatically knew who it was. Liel came running into the room. I got up and he ran into my arms. This right here is the reason I have to live, no.... This right here is the reason I want to live, for moments like this. 

   " You ready to go home? " Aunt Beth said from the doorway of my room. 

   " Actually, Can we get some real food? I'm starving." I said with Liel in my arms.

   " Yep, you're back. Come on let's go get some food, my little peanuts." Aunt Beth said pulling me and Liel into her arm and walking down the hallway. We all laughed at the fact that the one thing I could think about was food, but really I was just making up something to talk about other then everything that has happened. Really what I was thinking about is how mom and dad would be so disappointed in me. I miss them so much, but I have to stay strong because that is what they would have wanted me to do. For me but also for Liel, he needs me right now. He is to young to understand it all now but in the future it will hurt him that he never really got to make enough memories with mom and dad.