"Happy Valentine's Day," Lisa breathed out against my shoulder when I woke up. With the woman I loved in my arms on a day dedicated to love and happiness, you'd think I'd feel better. But the truth was that I never felt like celebrating this time of year. I knew Cas wasn't dead and that this wasn't the anniversary of his suicide, but I couldn't help how lost I felt. And this year was even worse. No, Cas wasn't dead, but I walked away from him for the third time since we'd known each other. Which wasn't long at all. I just felt guilty. Then I felt even worse when I thought about Lisa and how I should've been thinking about her.
"Do you want to go out tonight?" I asked her, trying to draw my mind away from the past. "I have to stop in the lab for a few minutes after my four thirty class, but I'm all yours after that."
Lisa hummed, her face pressed into my chest as she traced patterns on my ribcage. "I was thinking we could cook tonight. Maybe something fancy and ambitious that we'll screw up so bad we order pizza."
"Do you just want pizza?"
"I want to spend time with you and laugh at how bad we are at cooking, even though were pretty decent. I want to salvage salads from our disaster of a dinner because that was the only thing we didn't burn. I want to ignore the mess in the kitchen until tomorrow and get a pizza that has too much cheese from that place downtown that has a name but everyone calls that place downtown. I want to kiss you on the couch until the pizza comes, then we'll pick up where we left off once it's gone." Lisa's eyes lifted to mine, and she gave me a smile that walked the edge of sweet and seductive. "I just want you all to myself tonight."
The room dimmed, like a mood light being turned down slowly. The late morning sun faded into an evening sunset. I laughed, resting my cheek on Lisa's head. "Stop."
"Fine, fine," she conceded. The light returned to normal. "But tonight, I want to show you something I learned."
"I can't wait." I kissed her, and she smiled into my lips. Using her powers made her happy, and I loved to see Lisa happy. Light manipulation was a little strange to live with sometimes, but seeing Lisa's face when she turns out the lamp on the nightstand when I'm the one using it or when she learns new tricks makes it all worth it. She didn't understand how I could completely give up using my own powers, but it was too hard. I couldn't see fire without feeling myself being burned alive, the smoke burning my lungs and the flames blistering layers deep into my skin. Creating any type of flame made me sick, and I was tired of vomiting when I felt the heat from my powers running up my arms. My air and water control reminded me too much of Cas, and my strength didn't feel real after it was stripped away by Azazel. Maybe it was just a confidence thing, but I never felt strong after I couldn't save Cas from that monster, no matter how many pounds I could bench press. And I used my strength more than I realized, I knew that, but it wasn't as much of a conscious effort as my elemental control.
There may be a day when I could put everything behind me and use my powers like I used to, but now wasn't that time.
"So," Lisa started, bringing me back to the conversation we were having rather than the memories I tortured myself with, "what do you want tonight? I'll have to stop somewhere before I come home tonight."
"You know what? Surprise me."
■■■
From Lisa:
I'm prepping the oven now can't wait to make whatever the hell this is
From Lisa:
*cant wait to order pizza when this is a disaster
To Lisa:
Have some faith in us
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Lightning Does Strike Twice
Fanfiction•Completed• Dean never really believed in second chances; after everything that happened to him and his family, it didn't seem like life was that kind. But his own miracle was just delivered at his doorstep with the promise of a second chance. After...
