Lightning Does Strike Twice

We'll Be Back

Sorry it's been so long since I've updated this story. Between Christmas and New Years and college deadlines and getting the flu, life's been crazy. I haven't really had a chance to write until recently. I wanted to finish this story before the new year so I could focus on a few others, but I'm a little behind schedule. Anyways, I'm here now, and the story is starting to wrap up. I'll leave you guys to it. Happy 2019!!

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I shifted around, glancing from my feet to Cas to our gloomy, dawn-lit surroundings. "You know," I tried to laugh, "when I asked you what you wanted to do before we moved, this wasn't what I had in mind." Cas didn't respond. He was too busy staring ahead of him, deep in thought. I almost didn't want to know where his mind was today. "Should you be sitting there?" My boyfriend finally looked up from where he was sitting cross legged in the dewy grass. "Isn't it, like, disrespectful?"

"It's my empty coffin that's under here, so I think I get a pass." He reached out to touch the words carved into the headstone that we came from Northam to see.

Castiel James Novak
Beloved Son and Brother
August 28, 1998
February 14, 2017

"Bit ironic, huh?" Cas mumbled as he took his hands back and tapped his ankle. He didn't say anything else, but I knew what he meant.

There were two symbols at the base of the stone: a leaf and a storm cloud with a lightning bolt. That's all paratas are reduced to when they die. Just a name and a symbol of their powers. But Cas didn't have his powers anymore.

"Someday, some kids will come here to drink or make out like the weird teenagers they are and see this grave. I hope they wonder who the man was who has three dates on his headstone."

I raised an eyebrow. "You plan on just adding another date? Why not get another headstone that has the right ones?"

"What a waste of money. Besides, that's boring."

"You're right. We wouldn't want your grave to be boring." I cleared my throat. "Why are we here, Cas?"

"My parents had my funeral here. It's where my grandparents and Aunt Amara are buried. I haven't been here in years. I hadn't even been in Pennsylvania since my aunt's funeral. I really wanted to say goodbye to them before we left, but I had to see my own grave. Who gets to say they've visited their own gravesite?"

"So it's just curiosity?"

"And closure." He held his hand out to me, wanting me to sit with him. Despite how strange it felt, I sat down and let him take my hand. "I still don't remember most of what happened. There are gaps that I can't fill in that start right after the beginning of senior year, and there are months that I'm still missing. I don't want those memories back, though."

"You don't want to remember?"

"I don't think so. I know I did some really terrible things. I know that I hurt you and my family. But I don't want to remember any of that." His voice started to crack as he was on the verge of crying. "I don't think I could live with myself." Cas wiped at his eyes. "How did you do it?"

"What do you mean?"

"How did you keep going through all those months that I was dead? How did you move on?"

"I didn't. For the longest time, I didn't think I could go on without you. Most days, I didn't want to get out of bed. It took me so long to start acting normal, but I didn't feel like I was back to normal. I blamed myself, and I missed you so much." I squeezed his hand. "Mourning you was the hardest thing I've ever done. And the second time wasn't any easier."