Going the Right Direction(A One Direction Story)

Dai's Story

*Dai's POV*

"Fucking hell." I screamed again.

I was furious. Not only with Louis but with myself. And I have no idea why. Yeah, Louis' words hurt like hell, but hey, I've heard worse. It's not like it's the first place I've gone that they don't want me there..

But we had gotten along pretty well in the morning, his outburst almost didn't make sense. But then again, It was down-right logical. Nobody wanted me anywhere. Duh.

"I should've killed myself when I had the chance.." I murmured to myself.

Yup, suicide attempts. More than once I had tried to end my worthless life. The first time was when I turned 14.

My birthday on a schoolday. Oh joy.

It was one of the worst days ever, Myrcella had succesfully locked me in the boys locker room and I ended up missing math class. And to make things worse, 16 and 17 year old boys decided to come into the lockers, half un-dressed in that precise moment. Oh lucky me. No longer was I just an emo freak, I was now a creeper-slut-emo-freak. Hooray. The rest of the day was just horrible, name calling, tripping in the hallways, stealing my gym clothes, the list was endless.

I was getting back home when it happened. I was in the middle of crossing the street, when I just stopped, waiting for the next car to pass to take me to the 'other world'. But when one came ito my view, it just stopped. Stopped and stared. And I just couldn't move, until the angry driver honked the horn that made me wake up and made me finish crossing the street. After that, I went to a park, sat down inside a hollow tree me and Ely went to when we were little, and just cried. Cried because I had failed, cried because I had survived. Cried because I was a mess.

The second time I was closer. I had succesfully gotten a Glock. It was light in my hands and easy to hide. Who would've known a 15 year old would hide a gun in her school locker?

But when the date I'd planned came, I pulled the trigger and expected the loud bang.. But instead.. Empty. I had forgotten that I needed to buy the bullets. I can't believe I was so stupid to even forget that. I got so angry that time, that I just threw it into a river, I didn't want to see it anymore.

The last one was on that same year. I'd decided that if this attempt wasn't succesfull, I'd give up for good. I couldn't bare another failure, they had been too much.

But to my disappointment, I managed to fail again. This time it was the subway. Just one simple jump, and then, nothing. It seemed so simple, just poof, no more Dai. Just a mess of blood and bones.

Just as I was about to give the final step as the train was getting nearer, an old man managed to pull me back.

"Are you insane?! Didn't you see the train?" I remember his voice perfectly, it didn't tremble even once. Of course I used his excuse. Why should he even care about me? So I just thanked him, to not seem rude at least, and left. That was the last time I tried. And I couldn't promise it would be.

"Damnit" I suddenly remembered Zayn had taken my razor, as I had reached into my back pocket and had found it empty. And at that exact moment, someone knocked on the stupid door.

"What?" I whispered, loud enough to be heard.

"Dai, please, I just want to talk, I would never want you to leave, can I come in?" Zayns voice pleaded.

Oh well, I thought, maybe this way I could gain my razor back.

"Oh no, you won't" Zayn told me as I let him in my room.

"Ok, shit's up, how do you do that?" I asked perplexed. It just wasn't normal! He wasn't normal..

"I'll tell you. If you tell me" He nodded at my sleeves. I gave it a thought, but then again, it could be good to let it out at least once, right? So I didn't even hesitate, and just started talking.