I can't get You out of my head! (On Hold)

10. Running away.

Jon PoV

I find myself knocking desperately on Fenya's door at five thirty in the morning, hoping that I'll be able to rouse her. If there is anyone capable of sorting out this mess for me, it should be her, right?

Finally after banging for what feels like forever I can hear her disgruntled yell from the other side of the door. "Yeah yeah! Hold your fucking horses! I'm coming!"

Opening the door she pops her sleep-tusseled head through "What?!?". When she sees my face her whole demeanor changes. "Jon?" She asks softly. "I fucked up Fenya. I fucked up so badly!" Seeing that I'm close to tears, she hurries me into her appartement. Locking the door behind us she asks "Does this fuck up call for tea or vodka?"

I chuckle sadly and say "Well, since this was an alcohol induced fuck up, tea would probably be best." I love how she dosen't ask me any questions, she just goes to her kitchen to prepare the tea, leaving me to flop down on her couch. As I try to get comfortable I get a whiff of myself and suddenly the smell of sex sticking to my body is overwhelming me!

"On second thought Fenny. Can I grab a shower before the tea? And do I still have some clothes lying around here?" I feel filthy, in more ways than one. "Sure!" she shouts from the kitchen. "You know where everything is. And I even washed your clothes from last time. Aren't I good to you?"

"You're always good to me Fen!" As I walk past her kitchen I pop my head in "So be a doll and change the tea to coffee. And maybe make me some of your world famous pancakes while I get cleaned up?" I have a craving for sugar and Fenyas pancakes are the best! She makes a face at me, but starts finding the ingredients anyway.

Standing in the shower, my mind starts drifting back to last night. Frederics hands on my body, his tongue in my mouth and his... Damnit Jon just stop! I feel like crying again. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen! Angry with myself I quickly finish washing, dry of and get dressed.

Getting out from the bathroom, I can smell the coffee and pancakes and I let my nose lead me to the living room, where Fenya has prepared everything exactly how she knows I like it. Right up to and including the fluffy blankets. I make myself comfortable under a blanket before I grab a plate and start eating. My sister knows me well enough to not push for answers, she know that I'll talk when I'm ready. We eat in comfortable silence and when we're done, she carries our plates back to the kitchen while I snuggle deeper into my blanket, coffee in hand.

Coming back, she puts her head on my thigh facing away from me. Then she waits. That woman could out-wait a saint! After God only knows how long, I sigh. "I fucked up Fenya!"

"Yeah, you already said that." I can hear the question in her voice.

"I did something that I shouldn't have done. And I can't take it back Fenny. Hell I don't know that I would if I could. But it's done and I can't!" I can feel the rambling start and I have no idea how to stop myself. "This wasn't how it was supposed to happen! I didn't want it like this! What is he going to think of me now? And Jacob? Ohh how could I forget about Jacob? How am I going to be able to look Jacob in the eyes now? I mean he's my boss for fucks sake!" Tears are rolling down my face and my voice is starting to crack. "And what if anyone saw us? This is just all wrong Fenya. All wrong! What am I going to do?"

I finally stop my ranting, only to start crying for real. "He's going to think that I'm just an easy fuck!" At this, Fenya jumps up, grabs my shoulders and looks me straight in the eyes. "Who Jon!" She demands. "If anyone has ever accused you of that, I will KILL them! I'll rip their head right off their shoulders and spit down their throat!" My ever protective little sister growls. Sometimes I think that people should be more afraid of her than of me, despite my giant stature. I know that I would be.

I just shake my head "No one has accused me of that Fen. But..." She gives my shoulders a little shake. "Then what Jon? Hmm?" She leans back. "Maybe you should start at the beginning?" I nod dejectedly.

"I slept with him." I sniffle. "Or technically I let him fuck me and then we fell asleep together." She looks at me with confusion."Who, Jacob?" I huff and shake my head no. "Then I'm going to need a little more to go on Jon."

"Frederic! Fenya, I had sex with his Majesty King Frederic Christopher Phillip IIX. We had too much fucking champagne and I let him drag me to his bedroom. Is that clearing things up for you?" I know that it isn't her fault. And I know that she is only trying to help. But somehow I still end up raising my voice until I'm almost shouting at her.

She looks at me dumbstruck. Then her face changes to one of mischief. "Was it good then? The sex I mean? It must have been since you slept there!"She giggles at my staring face. I grab one of the pillows behind my back and start hitting her with it, trying to hammer some sense through her thick skull.

"That..." BUMP "..is so.." BUMP "..not.." BUMP "..the point!" BUMP BUMP.

I know that she is just trying to cheer me up, and it's sort of working. A little.

"I know, I know. Mercy big brother, mercy!" She laughs. "But was it though? Good I mean?" She asks with a smirk. I sigh, and then I give her a sideways glance. "It was amazing! The best I've had in forever!"

And then the sadness hits me right in the chest! Because I fucked this up royally, note the sarcasm. Yes I really REALLY wanted to get into Frederics bed. But not like this. Not like a drunken one-night stand doomed to be awkward in the morning. I wanted it to be because he saw something he wanted, something special, not because of beer-goggles or champagne-goggles or whatever! I wanted him to look at me like I mattered. Now when he looks at me, all he'll see is a slut too drunk to say no.

I can feel my face crumble and the tears returning. Fenya scoots over to me and hugs me. "Shhh. Jon I can practically hear what you're thinking. And I want you to stop it! Right now! I won't have that kind of negativity around you, not even from yourself!" She gives me a kiss on the cheek. "I know that you feel like shit right now, so here's what we are going to do. First of all, it is now late enough for you to call Jacob..."

I open my mouth to argue, but she places a finger on my lips. "Ba ba ba ba bap! You are going to call Jacob and request a few days of. You have been working almost 24/7 the last week, running all over town to get ready for the coronation. So he owes you that much! Plus he is your friend Jon. He will understand why you need a little space." I sigh and nod.

"Second of..." She continues "You are going to stay here with me! I have some leave I can take, so I'll go stock up on groceries and snacks, swing by your place to grab some more clean clothes and then we're going to shut ourselves of from the world for a couple of days. Getting a little perspective will go a long way for you. Ok Jon?" She pats my knee and then gets up to go get ready.

How did I ever manage to get a sister like Fenya? On one hand I am amazed that she will drop everything to be there for me. But on the other hand, that is why I came to her. Because I knew that she would do what ever it took to help me get through this. She is one amazing Lady!

Now if I could only make her call Jacob so I didn't have to, that would be great!

I sigh again and pick up my phone. Here goes nothing!

Published September 14. 2018

Oh my... Writing this short chapter damn near killed me!

Sidenote... My amazing muses came up with a ship-name for our main couple. So from now on the good ship JoFre is getting ready to sail into the sunset.  

Until next time.

Don't do anything that I wouldn't do!