I can't get You out of my head! (On Hold)

11. What do I do now?

Frederic PoV

Waking up alone the morning after my coronation was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I didn't know how I would have gotten rid of Jon after asking him to stay the night. And a curse because I wasn't sure that I actually wanted him to leave.

The "not wanting him to leave" part was what had thrown me into my current tailspin. Why didn't I want him to leave? I always wanted them to go away when we'd had our fun. No reason for them to linger any longer than necessary!

But then again, why had I even taken him to my bedroom in the first place? I don't take guys to bed! I fuck them in bathrooms at clubs, in the backseat of limos or on the couch at THEIR place. I am not the "Let's cuddle after sex" guy! I am the "Thanks, that was nice. See you whenever" guy!

I had no idea how I was going to get any of this to make sense in my head, so I did the only thing I could think off. I took the longest shower in history while a maid changed my sheets and cleaned the room, effectively removing all traces of Jon having ever been here. Then claiming coronation fatigue, I locked myself in my apartment, shutting the world out.

I had a lot of things to sort through.

Setting aside the fact that I had brought Jon into my private space, I also needed to figure out why in the world I had so adamantly proclaimed to Jacob that Jon was "mine". And on top of that, I needed to undertstand the nature of the beast that Jon had awoken in me! Because even though I had never been accused of being a gentle lover, the level of passion... desire... whatever Jon had aroused in me was beyond anything I had previously experienced.

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For almost two days, these thoughts have been rolling around in my head. Why did I call Jon mine? Why did I bring him to my room? Why did he make me so crazy? Round and round they go but never really getting me anywhere.

I haven't left my apartment, I havn't talked to anyone other than the maids bringing my food. But then again who would I talk to? Nothing good ever came from "pouring out my soul". I just need to figure this out then I'll be able to get back to my life!

My reverie is rudely disturbed by someone banging on my door. "Open this door! NOW Frederic!" I sigh and get up to unlock the door "Noah." I greet my furious looking best friend/bodyguard.

"What in the ever-living Hell is going on Frederic?" He spews between clenched teeth. I try feigning ignorance "What do you mean Noah?" But his face tells me that this was the wrong move.

"What do I mean?!? Seriously?!? What the fuck do you think I mean? You have shut yourself in this apartment for two days! Jacob had to reschedule the coronation press-conference because you didn't show up! And then I come here to find that you apparently haven't even bothered to shower. Are you sick? Is something broken? What's wrong?"

I can see that he wants to check me over to be sure that I am ok, so I quickly put up my hands to dissuade him from this idea.

"I'm fine Noah!" I try to placate him. "I've just had a lot on my mind. I'll talk to Jacob about the press-conference later."

Fuck! I have to talk to Jacob. Not something I am looking forward to either. Another reason for me to just build a pillow fort in my living room and declare it a sovereign nation!

I guess that some of my thoughts are showing on my face, because I can see Noah getting ready to interrogate me. I try, even though I already know that it will be in vain, to stop this conversation before it starts. "I don't want to talk about it Noah!"

"Well you're shit out of luck Freddy, because I do!" He makes himself comfortable on the couch and pats the seat beside him. "Come tell daddy your problems baby boy!" I shoot him a dirty look "Daddy? Baby boy? Is there something you need to tell me Noah?"