(im)patience

Chapter 7

[Kaycee]

I have been pacing around my room for the past half an hour. I tried studying and doing my homework for the day, but my mind just wasn't at it. I felt restless, frustrated and honestly, mainly angry.

Who gave him the right to say that out loud ?! I thought we had this unspoken rule to never cross the line. We were both aware there was something between us, above all the authentic and pure friendship. You could feel it in the air, in the stares we exchanged and swift longing touches. None of us was stupid or oblivious, we just settled for these comfortable and harmless interactions.

I couldn't afford risking his constant presence in my life for a stupid fling. We were so young and with so many opportunities ahead of us, as a duo and individually. Now things being said and named, it made everything more real. Like a burden. It made me even angrier thinking about it.

I tossed all my notebooks into the drawer and slammed my laptop shut with a forceful thud. Maybe a little too aggressive, considering I had to make sure it was ok. I still needed that.

Deciding I had enough of walking aimlessly, I grabbed my phone and went to the garage to blow off all the accumulated steam.

I plugged in the aux, chose the most random song from the recommendations section and let it take control over me. The beats pulsed trough my veins and the moves came naturally one after another, overflowing from within.

Before I knew it, my mind started making the counts for each motion and after five hours of trial and error and pushing myself, it was finished. The choreography I was going to teach by myself on tour. This was it.

I felt my lips showcasing a bright smile and I jumped in excitement, running straight to my phone to call Sean. Without even thinking about it, I facetimed him, his face popping on the screen after the third ring.

"Sean LEW! Oh my God, I did it. My choreography for the tour is ready." I squealed, still jumping. I bet on the other end it looked like I was in the middle of an earthquake.

The first thing he did was to laugh softly, throwing his head back in amusement at my enthusiasm.

"Hi. That's great, Kayc, can't wait to see it." He kept a cheeky smile, showing off those dimples in all their glory.

"Me too, like right now. Can I come over ? Or do you want to come over?" I was talking so fast, I wasn't sure he was following.

His smile suddenly faded and he rubbed the back of his head visibly uncomfortable. "Actually, I've been meaning to call you as well. I have to pack, I'm going to New York tomorrow. So no rehearsals for a few days."

All my excitement froze in a second, instantly drained of any remaining joy.

"You're running away from me." I remarked disappointed, holding back the renewed anger.

"No, I swear to you I'm not. I promised that I won't let anything change and you know I'm dead serious about it." He sounded honest, but somehow I wasn't buying it.

I was on the verge of snapping at him. But instead of shouting false accusations at him in vain, I kept my mouth shut. I had no right to control his schedule, but he was leaving me again. And this time it was because of me. See what you did, Lew.

"Kayc, look at me." He asked gently and continued when there was no reaction from me, "Please?".

I sighed and finally met his eyes.

"Tate called me today. She finally finished that song we've been working on for months, the side project I told you about. And she wants to record it asap." He hesitated here and there, running his fingers through his freshly-cut hair.

A new wave of anger hit me and I had to bit my bottom lip hard to restrain myself from saying something I'll regret later. Again, I had no right to be angry at him. I just couldn't help it.

"Ok. Tell Tate I said hi." I concluded sharply and ended the call.

The shower was calling for me to cool my nerves. I had a couple of missed calls from Sean when I got out, a sign he wasn't really happy with the way I hung up on him. I shrugged and turned on an episode of "The Office" and went downstairs to make myself some popcorn. Maybe a few days apart will do us good. We clearly needed some time to regroup and cool off all this tension. 

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[Author's note]

Sassy Kaycee is a mood, lol. Also updates on consecutive days, who am I ?! I hope this wasn't too random, I just needed a reason for them to fight and I had no better ideas, sorry. Anyways, thank you again for all the support, it really helps and inspires me. Much love!