Enchanted By The Thought

FOURTY ONE: The Old Elizabeth Died

Know thy self. Know thy enemy.

The day of Dumbledore's funeral felt like an omen; the misery was thick in the air. Harry's pain was her own and she watched from afar as he ended things with Ginny. She knew it was in the girl's best interest but she also knew that it didn't hurt any less. Everyone was weeping and sobbing, their hope crushed. The greatest wizard known was dead at the hands of a man he trusted.

At first, Beth had gone numb from everything that had happened. Disbelief was palpable everywhere. Dumbledore, dead? Who else would die for her and her brother? Who else would die to stop Voldemort from rising? From her numbness grew hatred. Hatred for herself and for her twin. Hatred for the boy who had used her to achieve evil things. Hatred for the world. How had she been so stupid, so blind, so ignorant? The Malfoy's were not capable of loving; Draco had shown her that. But there was something that made her stronger.

From the ashes grew a new girl. Draco had killed the old Beth but the new one would not be so easily trusting. She knew her place and she knew her friends. She knew her allies and she knew who she could and couldn't trust. She had Draco's betrayal to thank for that new sense of caution. And even though Beth knew she was supposed to be sad and despaired, emotions seemed to have left her. There was no regret for falling in love with a Malfoy; maybe Draco had been capable of loving, once upon a time. But his parents had ruined that chance before he'd even laid his eyes on Elizabeth.

She knew how many times she'd had to deny him, to turn him away but he'd used his words as weapons and drew her back into him time after time. Their relationship hadn't been healthy; around him, it was only him and what he wanted. She had no friends in his eyes. Beth regretted letting her walls down; she should've listened to her instincts and never should've stared at the boy. That day, she could've turned and walked away, leaving her feelings in the dust. She should've. She could've. But she didn't. She fell right into the love she'd so desperately tried to avoid. She had her heart broken once by a boy who cared for the fame surrounding her. She hadn't expected her second heartbreak to be from a Malfoy, the sworn enemy of her brother.

There were always those if's and but's but Beth knew if she hadn't fallen for Draco, she wouldn't have killed the old her. The Beth who trusted blindly and only saw the good in people. The Beth who believed that nobody truly wanted to harm her or her brother. But she should've known better. How many times had she been thrown into danger because of her brother? How many times had she watched someone get killed for them?

Too many.

~

As Beth boarded the train, she touched the wood around the frame fondly. She knew that although she had one more year, she would not return. Where her brother went, she went. Beth knew her brother enough to know he wouldn't return. Even if it meant she had to physically attach herself to him, she would not be left behind. Their lives were in peril now and they must stick together. Beth smiled, dropping her hand. She sought out her two friends, knowing that this moment would be the last time they saw each other. Maggie's family had decided to flee and were heading to America. Newt ruined it for me but my parents are desperate to get away from the danger. The bronze trio sat together, their silence being their words. Nobody wanted to say goodbye because goodbye meant forever and forever was an awfully long time.

Elenfore crawled into Beth's lap, purring loudly. She absentmindedly petted him, her mind not with her friends. She was thinking of a boy with silver eyes who was not on the train. "I'm going to miss you two." Maggie's voice snapped Beth back into focus. The other two turned to their youngest friend, who had tears running down her face. "I know that my parent's decision isn't smart because if You-Know-Who wins..." they all exchanged a dark look. "We won't be safe there. I'll write to you guys all the time... if you're alive."

Beth's heart constricted as that statement hit her. Maggie was fleeing because both of her parents were muggleborn. Kat's parents were determined to stay, despite their fear. Beth remembered the conversation that Kat had shared with Maggie when they'd thought Beth was asleep. Kat's parents were purebloods and although they'd be safe, they'd caught too many death eaters to be out of safety for their blood status. They're thinking of switching sides. Kat had whispered to Maggie. They want to keep me safe and believe that if they're taking his side, he can keep me away from battles.

Beth had wanted to point out that if they changed, they'd be battling their friends and would be helping in tracking down the Potter twins and eliminating them. Harry alone was no match for Voldemort. Beth knew she stood no chance either. But according to the prophecy, the twins united would bring Voldemort's reign of power to an end. When they drew close to London, the girls changed into normal muggle clothes. They spoke no more of Maggie leaving. Beth's wand was tucked safely in her pocket.

They arrived at King's Cross and the students began to board off the train. The normal laughter and sounds of glee were muted. Parents grabbed their children and left, not stopping to talk to other families. The girls shared one last look and hugged, refusing to let go. But then Kat's parents were there along with Maggie's. "See you later." Maggie told her friends. They all ran their thumbs along their cheeks, a sign they'd created in first year. It meant good luck. Then Maggie's parents gave Beth a tight smile before they herded their daughter away, disappearing into the crowd of muggles. Kat's parents pulled their daughter away, not meeting Beth's gaze. With a sinking feeling, she knew; their allegiance had changed. They were no longer her allies.

Beth caught up to Harry and squeezed him tightly. "See you in a few days." She told her twin and he nodded stiffly. She could feel the turmoil of emotions inside of him. Danger was lurking on the horizon; a war was coming. A war she was not ready to face.

There was no hatred in the world. Just the absence of love.