It's so weird to think that in the same year, I fell in love with two different persons. I mean, when I think about my first love who shared the half of this year with me and I think about the way I used to look at him like if I never wanted to forget anything from his face and the way I used to cherish him and to think he was the one and only, and now, some months later, I'm in a different country in the arm of someone different who I feel as good as I felt with my ex, someone that I know I look like the one I'd never want to forget and someone I cherish so much but still, I know he's not the one and only because there was someone before him who had this title; to be mine forever. And that's so sad for both of them because my ex was supposed to be the love of my life but look at me now kissing and talking with someone else and my actual boyfriend should get as much love as I gave before but I can't because I'm still a little bit attached to the first one. And It's so sad because I realized I was so fucked up, I realized I was probably just dating my actual boyfriend just because I need to feel less alone and to be loved and I want to feel what I used to feel with my ex, but I'm not because he's not my ex. I'm not with him because I love him. I love the idea of him, that's all. And that's so sad because I keep complaining about how my actual relationship is so similar for my last one but I realized that was probably why I was still dating him; because I don't want my first love to be over and I'm looking for him in everyone and I found someone who was so similar. And that's so sad because I can see the exact thing as with my ex happening all over again, but with the difference that I'm not in love with him and I don't want to do any effort. So I think maybe I'll never get over him. And I'll break hearts again and again until maybe I find him back and everything between us just go back to being good. And I'm so mad at myself because fuck, I wish I could love my actual boyfriend as much as I loved my ex but I know it's fucking impossible. Because I gave everything for him. and I don't have anything to give anymore.
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My excerpt of stories (EN)
Short StoryThose stories don't really have a link between each other. Those stories often don't have beginning nor ends. These are just things that I wrote a long time before. Those stories often talks about sad stuff like depression, heartbreak, drugs etc.. T...
