My excerpt of stories (EN)

Liar.

I know I shouldn't lie. I shouldn't lie about everything that's going on on the back stage. Because on the stage, I'm so perfect, and I don't get why this is what everybody and myself believe. How do they think someone who tried to kill themselves a year ago can be so great now. I don't say there"s no progress, because there is one and it's huge, but they should know, and I include myself, that there is something behind this greatness. Like there have always been. It's how it works, doesn't it? It's always good before it's bad, like we're always high before we fall. They should know better. I should know better. Because if everything was so perfect, why would I still feel the need to get high when no one watches, when I'm not watching. It's all tricks, you know? And when you're perfectly conscious you're still in danger.

But what is the danger?

It's your own mind, darling. It's the way that it tells you everything is perfect. You know why it tells you that? So when something goes bad, you go bad too. Because you think that the perfection is over. And if you didn't think that, maybe you'll beat it and become great again, but you never does. You let yourself lose. And this time, I'm not going to lose myself cause I know I have nothing to lose.