My excerpt of stories (EN)

The first love is the only true love.

"I'm sorry.

-Oh, are you? It's true that kissing your ex, and yet I don't believe you when you say you only kissed him, was something you regret, is it? I don't know why I trusted you, I mean, you told me you cheated on him, you told me how he broke you, I should've known we weren't as real as I wanted us to be.

-You don't understand...

-You've always missed him. Actually, you were with me because you wanted to feel love again, because you missed the way his arms were around you and the way he made you feel. So you tried to feel this way again with me, you were trying to find him in me, weren't you? Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you dated me because it was a way for you to forget him, but I wasn't someone you loved. I was a complement to him. I was...

-Please, stop. It's not what you think at all.

-Then what is it?

-It started like you said. It was both of those things, it was for forgetting and for remembering, but then it changed, then it became you. You have to understand that between the time I broke up with him and the time I started dating you, the time was little, so of course I couldn't fell in love with you directly, I was too broken for this shit ! But I was finally feeling good when I was with you. And then, I forgot about him and I fell in love with you for real, I fell in love with you because you were different than him, you were yourself, you were the man I wanted. I fell in love with you because you were you. Because you made me feel better than he did, because when we were sleeping together and I was waking up in the middle of the night, I wasn't falling asleep directly like I did with him, I was taking 5 minutes of my night for looking at you sleeping and I wasn't thinking about anything but how much you made me happy. Because when you were fucking me you used to say that we made love and I loved to think that it was more than just sex because you kept looking at me moaning and you seemed like you were really enjoying this. Because you make me feel great, even better if i can say. Because you make me feel like I'm finally loved even if I'l the person the most fucked up you'll ever meet. I didn't feel like this when I was with him. But I kissed him and I only kissed him because I was on drugs and I was still missing him, I admit, but you have to understand, I loved him like I'll never love anyone else, I mean, he's my first love. He's the person with who I thought it wasn't temporary, I thought I would marry him and have children with him and he's he person that made me wanna change to be a better person and I wanted to be perfect with him, and when I was on drugs I just wanted to taste this thing again, the thing that he wasn't temporary, because you are temporary, and he was temporary, and everything is temporary. But then when I was buzzed and kissing him I realized it didn't felt right, because the lips I wanted were yours, not his. And I'm sorry I'm not the kind of girlfriend I was with him, the kind that wants to be perfect and to be better for you and who's able to talk about anything and to just be herself and to love you like you'll be the man of her life, I'm sorry I'm not like this anymore but you have to understand, I gave him everything and I don't have anything left to give anymore. But I love you, I love you and I want you to show me that we're not temporary, that we'll fight against distance and time to stay together, because, fuck, I'm so in love with you nothing else matters.