Hurt || 5H

five

I wake up the next morning still feeling tired as usual. I walk downstairs to make breakfast for everyone but someone already beat me to it considering the smell coming from the kitchen.

I instantly regret coming downstairs as I see who it is.

"Do you want any help?" I hesitantly ask.

She turns around startled by my presence. I mean I would be too.

"Um yeah, can you set the table?" She asks. I just nod and start setting the table.

So far so good

After setting everything at the table. We just sit there for a little bit because everyone is still asleep.

"I have a question," Ally says.

My heart drops. This is it. I just nod not meeting her eyes.

"Hey, guy-ahh!" Camila speaks falling down the stairs.

Thank you for camila

"Oh my! Are you okay?" Ally asks.

"Yeah." Camila laughs getting up from the ground.

While the girls pick up a conversation I silently walk upstairs.

That was close

"You attention whore!" My father yells at me after seeing my self-inflicted arm.

"I hope you accidentally die." My mother snickered. I just looked down in shame.

No one cares

"Brooke, Ally and I are going to the store. Camila, Normani, and Dinah are watching a movie if you want to join them or join us?" Lauren said through my door.

"Ok"

Waiting till I saw the car drive away I get up from my bed and quietly open my door. In Laurens room, I keep stuff hidden in a shoebox because my parents go through my things. I make sure everything is clear which it is, and I make my way to her room.

The shoebox was perfectly intact. I grab the two shoe boxes from her room and close her door walking back to my room.

Vodka, wax, extra blades, extra carts, and ropes. I grab the vodka and wax pen from the box. Closing the boxes I put them back in Lauren room.

Later that night, half the bottle of vodka was empty and a half a cart was gone.

"Brooke, come down to eat." Someone says. I don't know who. I'm relaxed. I haven't felt like this in forever.

Some people when high or drunk, they are hyper. I'm relaxed. I don't laugh at random times or anything like that.

"Brooklyn? You okay?!" Someone says again.

"Yeah," I say getting up.

Stumbling downstairs I manage to make it to the table with nothing broken.

Immediately Lauren eyes me, again. Ally sets the food down. Pasta today.

"Brooklyn, you haven't touched anything," Camila stated, "Please eat some."

"I don't feel like it," I slur. Well, that gave it away. Lauren sucks in a breath and walks to get two water bottles. She sets one next to me and one for herself.

Everyone was finished with their food but Lauren stayed at the table with me.

"Brooklyn, follow me okay?" Lauren lowly speaks grabbing my water bottle and hers.

"But I have to clean up," I slur again trying to sound sober as possible.

"No, you can do it later."

"Yay follow the leader!"

I stumble upstairs following Lauren. The alcohol and weed taking full control over me at this point.

Lauren opens up my door and points for me to follow me in there.

"No! You're going to hurt me! Please don't!" I yell getting louder. Lauren was shocked at my choice of words but she stayed calm.

"No one's going to hurt you B."

I hesitantly follow her in my room and shut the door. She sat on my bed and patted signaling me to sit next to her. She held out a water bottle and she told me to chug it.

"Give me all your drinks B," Lauren said sternly.

"You're going to hurt me."

"I don't know where you're getting this from, I won't hurt you. I'm not mad."

I slowly stumble walking around my bed and grabbing only my vodka bottle. I hand her the bottle and she takes it from me and goes into my bathroom to dump the beverage down the drain.

"Okay, where did you get this from?" 

I shrug my shoulders.

"Brooklyn, where did you get this from?" I shrug again but this time tears were welling in my eyes. I quickly look down not wanting to show her I was weak.

"Your room," I mumbled.

"I didn't bring anything B."

"I-I had a hiding spot. But that was the only thing I had hiding," I lied.

"Why did you do this?" She asked giving me another water bottle to chug.

After finishing half of the bottle sobering up more, still not in complete control.

"I-I just want to forget."

"Why?" Lauren asks.

I couldn't hold it anymore. Tears fell rapidly.

"I'm sorry!" I whaled.  Sitting farther away from Lauren.

"Hey hey no need to freak out. We all make mistakes." She soothes.

"Please don't tell the girls." I make barely above a whisper.

"I won't I promise."

"Don't tell my parents either. Please," I beg.

"Brooklyn, I can't promise that. They need to know." She sighs.

"They're going to beat me." I slur. She looks at me in shock.

"They won't"

I continue to cry. My cries turned into sobs.

"Come here," Lauren says holding her arm out.

I'm not sure if it's drunk me reacting or sober me. Lauren lays down and hugs me.

"You need to breathe babe, follow my breaths."

I do so. Getting to a somewhat normal pace. My sobs turned into just hiccups. Lauren combed through my hair as I calmed down a little bit. I've never felt this calm in awhile now. Lauren grabs my arm and rolls my sleeve up revealing my self-inflicted arm. She stays completely calm which shocked me. She had no sympathy in her eyes. I don't need sympathy.

"Tomorrow I want you to give me all your blades." She says sternly but her words were soft.

"That was my first time. I didn't mean to." I lied. She just nodded.

I close my eyes feeling sleep overcome me. I haven't felt this safe in awhile.

'...Until something makes you feel again. And then it all comes back.'

Hey guys

Wow, two chapters in one-night ahah. It's currently 12:28 am n I have school tomorrow. Oops. Um sorry for such a dark chapter there will be happier chapters. I might post the first chapter of the new book since I can't sleep.