xxiv

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I am no longer afraid of the rain.
I let the cold droplets run over my pale skin because at some point, it reminds me of both sadness
And happy things.
The rains allow me to cry without a trace.
These rains allow me to remember not to lose hope because after the rains fall around me,
The clouds clear.
Then, I remember why I was crying in the first place.
There are a thousand beautiful things waiting for me.
The brightness of the sunshine reminds me why the rain was so necessary.

- yesterday i was reminded by my fate exactly why I am alive.
Yesterday I sat with beautiful people, discussing beautiful things, drinking out of beautiful glasses.
Once I got home, and my love tucked me in, I realized how great my life is. I was crying for the life I was gifted.
I had the realization that I want a million nights of this.
This happiness, or sadness, just living.
I want to live.
I want to have beautiful babies. I want to be there for their first steps, to see them graduate, and watch with tearing eyes as they marry.
I am going to do everything I can to fight.
I want to live.

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