Rewrite Your Happiness (A Ryan Ross Fanfiction)

Melt Your Headaches

I was drinking some Moscato when writing the majority of this chapter, so...don't judge me.

Ryan didn't want to believe what Spencer and I said about Sam at first. He wanted to carry on and hope it wasn't true. However, denying our word didn't last long. The fact that she had a case of morning sickness at school a few days after proved it way too obvious. Ryan apparently made a huge scene, shoving some desks, throwing a box of blackboard chalk at the window, and even calling her a "goddamn whore" before being dragged down to the principal's office.

He was suspended for 10 consecutive school days and hadn't left our apartment since the break. He just took the air mattress into the junk room and just sat, stared at the wall, wrote, and read. I know some of us say stupid stuff like "my life is over," or "it's the end of the world," over not meeting a deadline or not getting a solo in a musical. But if Ryan were to admit any of those phrases in the state he was, I would actually accept it.

His dad just got out of the hospital and he just lost faith in the one he trusted with his secrets and feelings for years. Someone he had considered marrying. You'd think he'd have caught a break at some point. But, like most girls I've known, I guess she wanted drama and went behind his back to get attention where she felt she wasn't getting it: in bed...what a selfish load of shit she was.

For the first two days, I would take some leftover wraps from my work shifts and force him eat. Because God knows if he dared to even make it past the bathroom to even walk into the kitchen and make himself something. I also made sure to hide his bottle of painkillers for fear he'd overdose by accident.

On the fourth day, Jon bought tickets see a highly anticipated movie and he invited the three of us to come with his girlfriend. So, just to get Ryan out of the apartment for two hours, Brendon and I took him to see the movie...with Jon and his girlfriend. Aren't we just fucking arsonists? This movie was called "Closer." It featured Natalie Portman and Julia Roberts. I didn't know these actors too well, but they were pretty damn convincing...and beautiful. It was probably a bad idea because it turned out to be tragic love story for both these women's characters. I didn't see too much appeal until the minute Portman's character spoke a phrase that was all too well known:

"Lying is the most fun a girl can
have without taking her clothes off
...but it's better if you do."

I had just witnessed another moment. I would have been happy to experience it if we weren't just coming here to avoid a real life situation. Despite this being the worst movie to watch after a breakup, Ryan said was he liked it, then retreated back to the junk room.

In the very least, we tried.

In that time, we came to learn Ryan was kind of a silent griever...when people were around. He wouldn't make a sound while Brendon or I were there...but we did get a noise complaint from a neighbor about something rhythmically pounding the wall or multiple shrieks on day two and five of his grieving. We only assumed it was Ryan because neither Brendon or I did...that. This was really fucking him up more than we anticipated. After receiving a second complaint, Brendon and I both agreed we'd talk to him about it. Even if he didn't want to, he had to remember he had us to talk to and not just...her.

So, on day eight of Ryan's grieving process, we prepared to walk into the room. Brendon brought a box of both Ginger Ale and Root Beer (because it had the word "ale" and "beer" in them and, since we weren't of age to buy any type of alcoholic substance, the word "ale" and "beer" made it seem somewhat similar to getting drunk..? 🤷🏼‍♀️), and I bought a small takeout dinner from a Chinese restaurant a few miles out. And to top it off, I bought a small container of chocolate ice cream. Brendon laughed at me when I did, saying Ryan wasn't a girl. Still, it never hurt buying it if no one took it...I mean, I still would.