Rewrite Your Happiness (A Ryan Ross Fanfiction)

A Moment You'll Never Remember

As time passed, Ryan started to hang out with Brendon and I more often, to his girlfriend's dismay of course. We learned that the gig we performed for was actually Ryan's band, Pet Salamander. We met up with Brent and I ended up meeting Spencer for the first time. Though, most of the fanbase are quick to call him innocent, I would rephrase him to being more 'in line' than innocent. He talked about how he'd known Ryan since "the day his mother spit him out of her vagina" so that was a different way to say "I've known the boy for a long time." But none the less, Spencer was the most normal and chill mannered of the boys.

The gig went off without a hitch, I got to accompany Brendon in singing "I Miss You" by blink182, and the small audience loved it. After watching a recording of the event, Ryan was really impressed the vocal talent provided in his place and asked if Brendon wanted to take his place as the lead singer. He accepted the offer right away. What won't easily go down in the history books is that when Ryan wasn't it expecting, Brendon thanked him with a big hug while shimmying his shoulders.

This was in front of a people who stayed after a show to meet the band members and tell them they liked their music, so not too many people witnessed this hug. The weird part was Ryan was cool with it, going as far as waving one arm in the air like he was at a rodeo. Thank God Ryan's guitar was in-between the two because it would have just been effing weird...no, I take it back, it was effing weird. I would call it gay, but Ryan was had Sam and Brendon was...well, he never said. However, after that, I guess this is where the suspicions of the two dating must have started...

In June, I would attend practices where they would write music, change the band name, try to record covers, or scrap some original songs. It was pretty cool. When weren't in jam sessions, we would all message each other on MySpace and then and the conversations would range from serious to outlandish in a matter of seconds. At this point, life was about socializing during off time, music sessions, work, and sometimes online. Just how you'd imagine a teenager's life to be like.

One day, Ryan silently came into a session with a bruised jaw. No one said anything. We didn't know what to say or if we should've addressed it. Every now and then he would force a smile but, we all knew it was fake. He would also clench his bracelet-covered wrist a lot after practicing two or three songs, probably feeling out of place and uncomfortable. In other words, he wasn't himself. When I asked what happened to him, he wouldn't say. I pried more, but he would start to get defensive and flinch a lot. I let him go after the third time asking, though my curiosity grew. What was he hiding?

He started to jot down words and write songs that would become the band's official demos. I listened to a rough run of what would be Camisado and Nails for Breakfast. The two songs had me questioning the writing, as Ryan wrote the songs. They were rawer than the final future product Ginger had shown me, almost brought me to tears when Brendon sang them in the rental studio. They really had something going for them and I was excited to watch it all happen.

In late July, Brendon and I barely reached our goal and had enough money saved up to start living life in an apartment. It was a good thing, too, because the landlady was starting get suspicious, hiding the key in more creative places to stop late night drug deals (and Brendon's stoning) from stinking up a nice house in a bad neighborhood. Strangest thing is, Brendon stopped smoking pot for almost a whole month just so we could use that money to accessorize the new apartment. I know it takes a lot to avoid the addiction that is wanting drugs, but Brendon was ordering a lot of free salads for lunch breaks just so he could curve the cravings.

Despite all that suffering he went through, we were able to fill the place with furniture like a loveseat, mattress, coffee table, a mini fridge, an air mattress, a new guitar, a frying pan and some eggs. Sounds like a lot, but it was just enough to fill the living room and that was it. I had the loveseat on weekdays and weekends would be my days on the mattress. Ryan would visit us sometimes and ask to sleepover on the air mattress, never explaining his reasons why, just saying home was too far a walk away.